My Mosaic

Yeah it’s a bit like that eh @Snowie

i just called local comm mh. My case maanger doesn’t work today and I’m not even sure she is back this week… I asked to be put through to the case manager team, I’d usually speak with someone else but I was put through to the liaison officer and she was really unhelpful. Sigh

nothing much on tonight. Wanna take some extra meds and just go to bed early. Think it’s for the best.

tomorrow I start my DBT skills group. Really anxious about that. It’s at community mh, if I make it maybe I can ask to talk to someone while I’m there.

need to force myself off my bed… been laying here for ages. Mums cooking dinner. I’m not at all hungry and don’t wanna eats

I'm sorry to hear your phone call didn't help but well done for reaching out hon @Bow Reaching out for help is so hard to do in the first place.

That sounds good that your DBT group is starting tomorrow. It is understandable that you are anxious, I'm sure others tomorrow will be feeling the same. Hopefully it is a good supportive group for you. When I did DBT I found the group really supportive.

I have finished cooking tea, just a stir fry, quick and easy.

I hope your meds help tonight and you are able to get a good nights sleep.

What is your mum cooking for tea?

I'm sorry that you're feeling you have to carry this alone @Bow but thank you for continuing to share how you're going.

I imagine it can feel really hard/frustrating that the forums are not a crisis service, and to feel you can only share a scarce amount of what you are holding right now. If you ever feel unsure/worried about something you'd like to post on the forums you are welcome to reach out to our team via email and we can support you in ways of sharing that are safe and respectful of the guidelines.

❤️

Mum cooked fish @Snowie just the crumbed boxed stuff from coles. We had salad with it.

i struggle with groups @Snowie feel like I really don’t fit in. Maybe this group will surprise me.

and yes reaching out is hard. It’s a real blow when you don’t get the support your after.

That sound yummy for tea @Bow

I don't cook fish much anymore, kids don't eat it. When I was little I used to say it was chicken and they would eat all of it!! No fooling them now

It is hard to fit in at times and sometimes we feel like the odd one out. I am sure there will be others in the group that feel the same way. Hopefully you can find some good support in the group for you hon. If you are like me it takes awhile to feel comfortable around others too.

@Bow I hear how utterly exhausted you are with all of it. All the trying, all the difficulties. 😞 I really feel for you.

I hope the DBT group goes better than you think today...

Thanks @NatureLover

I had my first DBT today. It was ok. Group of 7 people. I was quiet. But we talked about mindfulness today… being here and present in the now. I think perhaps I use to get mindfulness and distress tolerance mixed up…? Anyways, group was ok.

it was cofacilitated by a peer worker, whom I’ve met before. She works on the same team as my case manager, so knows my case a little. At the end I asked her if my case manager is back yet, and she said no. I then ended up staying back for nearly an hour chatting with her about where things are at for me. I ended up in tears as I talked about that intensely overwhelming feeling when I am so thirsty, my whole body is screaming for fluids but I can’t give it anything…. She had tests too. It really does feel like a different conversation when it’s with a peer worker. I found it really helpful to chat with her. she is also a mum too…. So was helpful talking mum guilt with another mum who has a lived experience.

She asked me what meds I am on and was surprised that the mixture and dosage that I am on doesn’t do anything to knock me out. But she did suggest to me taking my meds heaps earlier, like at dinner time. So I am going to try that. If my meds make me sleepy and knock me out earlier, then nighttime’s wouldn’t be hell for me. I might not SH as much. I might not find myself nearly making final decisions.

anyhow, shall go now 🎀

Hi @Bow, reading your post I wanted to stop by to say how happy I am for you that you have had a good experience and conversation with a peer worker Speaking with someone who understands you because they have been there too can make such a difference. I hope you can continue to gain that support from the peer worker at the group, it sounds like they really understanding and compassionate

@Bow I'm happy for you that the first DBT group went well and you got one-on-one help from the peer worker afterwards 🙂 I'm so glad she understood and helped!

@Bow sounds like your first DBT session went well and continues to get better.

It sounds like you had a good talk to the peer worker too. I hope it helped.

Wishing you a good day today hon 💗