My Mosaic

Hey @Bow ,

I'm glad you've been able to reach out to supports (even if you didn't receive the support). I acknowledge that that takes a lot of strength in itself.

Despite not have the supports from external services, what's something pleasant you can do for yourself this evening?

I know this is not the same, but can we say - it's the next best thing (for now)?

I hear you,

tyme

Just in my room with my daughter and kitty. Daughter is watching tv and I’m tidying. Comm mh are suppose to do a home visit tomorrow. Kitty is tired out.

Despite how I am feeling at the moment, I have kept myself busy and had quiet a productive day. - Took all the cans and bottles to return and earn (got enough $ back into my PayPal to buy a cat scratching post!),

- then I went and picked up a load of pavers that I found on marketplace,

- went to bunnings next and got a couple of things…. And of course a new plant!

- Then I went to the chemist and reluctantly got a tin of a dietary supplement that my dietitian wants me to start having. That was a huge effort, I put it back on the shelf 3 times .

- then found a pair of shoes that I had been eyeing off for our trip later in the year, they were reduced, so a bargain!
- home for some lunch (mum made me eat cause I was going to mow the lawns.

- did the lawns.
- unloaded all the pavers

- laid pavers… still need to finish all that off, but I had had enough.
- fixed curtain rails

- watched a movie.

and now I am exhausted and ready for bed. Perhaps I over did it today.

Wow @Bow ! Incredible achievements there! I'm so proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too!

I'm so glad to hear you are spending time with kitty and your daughter. Connection is so powerful.

Way to go!

Hope you have a good night's sleep after all your accomplishments today!

tyme

@Bow Well done for all you accomplished, but especially for this below which sounded by far the hardest part:

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@Bow wrote:

- Then I went to the chemist and reluctantly got a tin of a dietary supplement that my dietitian wants me to start having. That was a huge effort, I put it back on the shelf 3 times .

You're an inspiration. 🙂

Today has been polar opposite of yesterday. I’ve done not much of anything. I didn’t go to church… haven’t been in weeks and no one has really noticed.
Community mh came to visit this arvo. i told them I’m struggling. Told them I’ve SH a lot and having a lot of intense SI. I’m not sure what I was expecting from them, but I was told I’ve been in this place many a time before and I just need to change the way I think. Not at all helpful when sitting in this horrible dark and lonely place. This is all a lot more intense at the moment and I’m scared.
i did a drawing this afternoon… I may post it later. But it’s what the battle looks like… I might show my psychologist on Tuesday  

or not… apparently it’s too triggering 😩

Hey @Bow ,

Thanks for the update about the Comm MH team. It's good they came to visit you today.

I wish it was easy to 'change the way I think'. I would have been 'cured' many moons ago. LOL. I understand what they mean, but it's a LONG process. Besides seeing a team for reviews, do you engage in any particular psychosocial therapies to help 'change the way you think'? Sorry it this sounds a bit ridiculous. I don't know how else to write it.

tyme

As in seeing a psychologist @tyme ? I see her weekly. She’s good at what she does. Knows her stuff… I’m just a real mess and feel like I’m not really getting anywhere.

im also starting a DBT group this week… goes for 15 weeks.

Yes, a psychologist. It sounds great that you will begin DBT. It's so important to help with changing unhelpful thought patterns. Will you be having both group and individual therapy as part of your DBT? @Bow

I done elements of DBT. Makes a lot of sense now that I think back to it. However, needs a lot of practise.

@tyme My psychologist said DBT will work well alongside the work that I do with her….. DBT and my psychologist are all at the same place, as is my case manager and psychiatrist. My psychologist also runs a DBT group, so she will know what I am doing.

Hi @Bow ,

Very interesting.

I found group therapy extraordinarily hard. I had to make myself attend each week, and often I'd come out feeling terrible.

But you know what? That was where the bulk of the work was done - in group therapy. So I guess being so difficult means it was actually doing something within me?

All the best with it. I look forward to hearing how you go, especially as everyone's experiences are different.

Oh, and I'd better mention, I engaged in a different form of group therapy - not DBT. I learnt DBT skills from my case manager (at that time). I'm not under case management anymore. It came to the point when I felt ready to step away from such intense care.

tyme