My Mosaic

I just wanna get through one night without doing something that I shouldn’t. My gp told me I need to stop doing it cause it’s getting worse each time. I wish it was that easy. But it’s been such a shitty day. I slept the afternoon away cause it was the safest thing for me to do.

Hi @Bow ,

I can hear you're trying to keep yourself safe today, and I want to acknowledge your strength in taking steps to manage your wellbeing 💛. I can see that tonight is difficult though, as it often was for myself as well, so I am wondering what you feel is within your control if your thoughts and urges start to feel harder to manage?

I found reaching out to crisis services helpful, but I trust that you know what would be most help for yourself right now.

Here with you,

cloudcore ⛅

Took my meds @cloudcore best I just go and try to sleep. Safest that way.

Those sound like good steps @Bow , sending you hugs 💛

Tis been a bad bad day

mh visited earlier. Never know who it’s gonna be. What I feel ok sharing with them. Dark and scary inside my head tonight.

Sitting with you @Bow I am sorry you’re having such a rough time.

I can relate to all the SH as I often get out of control with it too. I’m on leave from work now and I already feel more peaceful.

Big hugs

💙🤗💙🤗💙🙏💙🤗💙

hey @Eve7 excited for you that you are now on leave. what have you done with your first day?

i went to see my gp again this morning, she re-dressed my SH and booked me in again for wednesday. suppose to be taking antibiotics, but im not. i really did make a mess of things. so glad i can hide it from people. see my psychologist in the morning, should be interesting. i weighed myself yesterday which made me start restricting again. sigh. i do feel more in control now though. weird. well not really. messy i guess. not eating or drinking much. i'll be in trouble i guess.

i have an appointment with my dietitian on friday, considering cancelling it. just dont see the point. maybe i need to have that conversation with her. dont want to keep wasting her time. my appointments are for an hour, last fortnight i was there for 20mins. dont really know what else she can do for me. but other supports keep telling me to go.

im already tired. exhausted. feeling my body not liking what im doing.

Hey @Bow

Today, I went to work for 2 hours to finish filing and what I didn’t file, I shredded!!

All I’ve done is a load of washing and then I stood on the scales…shock, horror!! I’ve gained weight so I’m being careful what I eat too.

i plan to spend this week doing housework and will go to Sydney at the end of next week. Maybe we can spend a virtual afternoon together while I’m in NSW.

Just having a cuppa and an apple right now. I have psych on Wednesday and pdoc on Thursday plus the community worker on Wednesday as well so lots of appointments.

Take care sweetie 💙🦋💙

Oh yes, let’s have a virtual afternoon tea. How long are you here for @Eve7 ?

i had a different kind of dizzy this afternoon. Room was spinning. Had to sit down. Mum panicked a bit. Ok now though. Had a nice salad for dinner. Spoke with my case manager just before dinner too. She was a bit concerned that I’m not eating again. Will see her Wednesday. Recovery is so up and down. It’s tough.

I’ll be there at least a week @Bow and I will return for Mum’s birthday in mid April.

Recovery is a journey which is usually longer than initially planned!

I’m having leftover Spaghetti Bol for dinner with water rather than wine.