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Something’s not right

My Mosaic

My Mosaic

My Mosaic

I like mosaic art, I’ve never actually done any, but it intrigued me. Made up of hundreds of tiny pieces of stone, glass and ceramic. If you look at it close up it doesn’t really look like anything special, if anything it looks like a mess. But if you take a step back and view the whole picture- it’s a master piece. I guess it’s kind of like life. So many tiny parts, some messy if we look just at the one part. Some day i guess I’d hope that the mess of my life will at some point look half decent.

So here is part of my mosaic, bits and pieces kept tidy together 🙂

tagging you @Emelia8 cause you asked 🙂

22122 replies

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In response to: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Ruin a reasonable ok day with stupid decisions 😩

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Hi @Bow

Sorry to hear the evening has been really hard after a reasonably good day. I'm sending you an email to check in with you so please keep an eye out ❤️

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

We have all tested positive to covid this morning 😭😩

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Sorry to read this news @Bow

I hope you are not too sick and recover quickly.

At least you’ll start and finish together 🙃

💚🤗💚

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Thanks @Eve7

I’ve felt pretty lousy today. Aches and pains and a fever. Everyone else is ok. Really hoping that my step dad who is already in hospital is ok.

and hopefully we will all be well after the 7 days as we have friends coming from interstate next weekend.

i had to call community mh this morning, they were coming to do a home visit today. Really needed that additional support today cause of what I did last night, but obviously they couldn’t come 😞

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Please stay safe @Bow can you call them and talk if needed?

Lots more love

💕💕💕🤗🤗🤗💕💕💕

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Yes @Eve7 i got the lady as she walked in the door apparently. So once she got a handover, she called me back and I was able to talk to them for a bit. Scared myself last night @Eve7 and just don’t wanna be a hassle and seek medical attention while I’ve got covid.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Even though I have covid and in isolation, I’m thankful that I still managed to have a Telehealth appointment with my psychologist this morning. We tried a video link, but loved to phone quickly after it was a bad connection- annoying, but better than nothing.

Was able to talk with her about what is currently going on with my step dad and him coming home to die. She encouraged me to talk with my mum about how I am feeling… not sure I will… or can though. She said it’s important to just take each day as it comes.! We really don’t know what the coming weeks or months are going to look like. She reminded me that I have a great team of supports around me, which i do. I’m very thankful of that. I’ve booked into a webinar later this month about grief in children. So I feel a little bit better about where things are at in regards to that.

My psychologist then let me know what the outcome of the care meeting was yesterday. My psychologist, dietitian, Gp, ED psychiatrist and someone from the ED unit attended. The ED unit were very impressed with the team of support that I have- I agree, I have a really good team. My psychologist was pleased that my gp attended- she holds these types of meetings a lot and never has a gp attended. So I’m very thankful.
They said the ED unit hasn’t been opened due to covid, there is currently over 30 ppl on the wait list and the stay is between 3-4mths. I kind of got the impression that it was unlikely that I would get a spot in the unit anytime soon (underweight folks are a priority for refeeding) and if/ when I did, a conversation would need to be had about my daughter.
So they talked about managing my health and condition in the community. She said a CTO would be a step down from inpatient ED unit, but because control is a big thing for me, it may not be an ideal plan. My psychologist with speak with my psychiatrist about this.

oh dear, tireds just hit me. Covid really is weird. Like the usual cold/flu, but different too.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

I cycle through these intense and overwhelming feelings of hatred that I feel towards myself. It makes me cry. I have punished myself tonight. I haven’t exercised since Saturday. Covid has knocked me out too much. It has also increased my appetite. I hate it. Every night I lay in bed thinking that having covid would be the perfect opportunity to restrict even more, use it as an excuse to have lost my appetite even more, planning to get up the next day and not eat anything. But I wake in the morning and eat breakfast. I hate me. My body is disgusting. I want to keep punishing myself. Want to keep hurting me. What else can I do? I can’t see any of my supports. Locked away from the world. 😩

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