My Mosaic

I haven't tried yet @Bow.

I had a couple of hours today so just watching telly. Trying to settle brain.

Thank you for your lovely messages over the last couple of weeks ❤️

How's your little girl?

That can be hard sometimes… settling the brain.
oh and you a most welcome my friend, I do hope that things are on the up for you? I have read that you are resigning? And starting your own business…. Have you said what that is? I did scroll back a little bit but couldn’t find anything… or maybe you haven’t cause of privacy.

my little girl is good. Had to take her to have a renal ultrasound today. She’s had some ongoing bladder issues, poor thing. She was brave today! Off to her fathers for the day tomorrow. No more attempts at sleepovers for now, was too much for her, which I am glad about.

Hopefully yes on the up. I need to make drastic changes so I guess, this is it...

Bit scary, but exciting too

I haven't said @Bow, it's within hospitality industry. Plus I'll work as an employee part time whilst I'm building it as I do need an income always.

I'm sorry to hear of your little girls health, of course she's brave Bow, she takes after her gorgeous Mum.

That is good news about holding off on the sleepovers. I'm happy for you.

Sounds exciting @Anastasia ! … but always a bit scary to take that leap! And you said your boy will be involved? That will be great for him.

i need to put some serious thought into what I wanna do with my life. I started tafe last year but have just deferred and not sure it’s really what I wanna do. Know I need to sort my health out first and foremost…. And my gp suggested this week that I apply for disability pension, but would like to think at some point I could look at doing some training or something. Seriously thinking of doing some peer work training.

It's not easy is it @Bow to decide...

I've just started to follow some life coach/motivational people on Insta and there's some free podcasts on how to live your life and reach your full potential. Gotta try hey?

I feel like Dads watching, I did a volunteer day during the week to get a feel for my venture...a beautiful butterfly hovered all around me, inside the shop!!!! I haven't seen a butterfly for ever!

I think peer support sounds like a great fit for you to focus on @Bow! you could start small perhaps think about a guide role here? There's training and mentoring and it's within a safe environment...I think you'd be wonderful! I find the busier I am the less I focus on my own pile of poo if that makes sense?

I'm hoping your dozed off soundly @Bow dreaming big for your bright future.

Sweet dreams hunny and thank you for the chat. I'm going to head to bed too.

More squishy hugs for tomorrow,

love you 🌷

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So sorry @Anastasia ! Yes I did doze off, but had a terrible nights sleep. Hope you are well rested this morning.

how lovely about the butterfly! Of course your dad is watching. I’d imagine he is so proud of you, stepping out on this new adventure and doing something that you are passionate about.

yes it does help to stay busy eh. I don’t think I could be a guide here…., I break too many rules!

But I will give the peer work some more thought.

Hope you have a lovely day today. Do you have much planned? I’ve dropped daughter off at her fathers, she ended up in my bed at some point in the night, plus the apparent spider that she thought was in her bed earlier. She was up early this morning cleaning. She made a massive mess playing yesterday and I told her I wasn’t taking her anywhere until it was cleaned. She cleaned one mess… and made another mess in her room. At least I can shut the door of her room and ignore it today.
I’m having a wander at the shops and a cuppa and then going to head home and do some painting.
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Is it normal to hate yourself this much? 😩

wish that I k**l the part of me that hates myself so much

but then I’d have to k**l all of me because I feel like that’s all I’ve become.

Hearing you and sitting with you @Bow ❤️

Just want my meds to put me to sleep so I don’t have to fight these urges inside my head to hurt myself.