My Mosaic

Happy Birthday to your D @Bow

I hope it is a special day for her and for you.

Take care 💕💕💕

Happy birthday to your little girl @Bow 🎉🎂🎁💝

I hope you both have a special day ... one which will make happy memories for years to come.

I'm glad your employer is looking after you, as you deserve that support. And clearly you are a valued employee. 😄

Emelia

Thank you @Emelia8 @Snowie @Anastasia for the lovely birthday wishes for my D. She is having a lovely day. I woke with a headache so took some meds and am feeling a bit groggy but headache is some better. We have had pancakes for breakfast and opened presents and played with new toys- lots of unicorns!

I have an appointment with my psychologist later this morning and then we are having a birthday picnic. It will need to be inside though as it's cold and wet here again.

hope you all have an ok day x

Wishing your precious girl a very happy birthday @Bow

May the day be wonderful for both of you!

🎂🎉🦋🎉🎂

I feel so much anxiety... physically it feels horrible. Panic.

I had an appointment with my psychologist this morning via Telehealth video. I talked to her about how much of a struggle things have been this last week, that I have found myself struggling with SI a lot. And she again said that she felt like she was missing something. She didn't want to Invalidate what I was experiencing, but felt like there was something that I hadn't told her that I had been dealing with to help her join all the dots. I admitted to her that there was something but I didn't want to tell her over video and at home, didn't want anyone to hear me. She understood.

She reassured me that she wants to help me through this, she talked about the window of tolerance, which I understood and reassured me even more. One of my biggest fears of talking about what happened is losing control and then going home and falling to pieces. When she explained to me the window of tolerance and how it is her job to help me stay in that space, it helped. She could even tell over video when things changed for me, when my breathing changed and I became tense.

but I feel so much anxiety.

I told my first psychologist that I was assaulted. And she cut and ran from me. I don't think this psychologist is going to do that, but I'm still scared. I still blame myself. My own stupidity.

the anxiety feels horrible. I feel sick.

@Bow

Hoping the rest of the day went ok for you.

Here with you sweetie 💗💗💗

@Snowie Birthday celebration went well. She has had a lovely day. So many friends stopping by to help make her day.

but I am really struggling. Feel so raw and broken. Anxiety feels horrible.

I am glad D has had a good day hon @Bow I am sure you have made it special for her.

Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. I hope you can do something nice for yourself tonight.

This is exactly what I am scared about. Opening up about this and then not being able to cope afterwards. If this is how I feel now just thinking about talking about it... what am I going to be like once I've actually let it all out?

It is scary to open up to our supports hon @Bow I can understand how you are feeling. There is lots I haven't told my psych either. Hopefully you will have support and strategies in place to help you through all of this.

Lots of love sweetheart 💗💗💗💗