My Mosaic

I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful @Bow . I can imagine that even though it was a really lovely day, it was also a really tough day in some ways. Here with you

Do I really need to justify why I want to do this anyways?

Hey @Bow , whilst I can't be sure what you mean I can guess. I encourage you to tap into your supports and talk this through with someone. I'm also going to send you a quick email to check in.

@Bow 👂👀💞

Today is hard.

I didn't sleep well last night. I played the conversation I might have with my psychologist next week over and over in my head. My body responded in ways that did not feel good. No words felt right. Will any?

@Bow I'm sorry to hear you had a bad night's sleep. I read a bit back on this thread of what the scope for next week's appointment is - that's so understandable for you to be feeling anxious about that

She sounds like she's committed to making sure you're as okay as possible during the session though, which feels reassuring 💗 We're here alongside you all the way.

I hope the rest of today can be as gentle as possible for you 💐

@Bow 💕💕

One more day of isolation left. Went and had my last covid test and pending the result of what- which I am sure it will be negative, I will be free on Saturday. It's been the longest 2 weeks.

my knee is sore today. I was irritated throughout the night knowing that it was sore and would impact on my ability to exercise. But my ED is relentless today and I am pushing through the pain and discomfort.

my anxiety still hasn't let up at all. I keep thinking of things that I want my psychologist to know about what happened. I should write things down.

I think your current psych is a good one @Bow and will not abandon you. I believe your load will be lightened by telling her of your experience. A sense of relief almost. You will be believed and you will be supported.

When I was unable to speak of things that happened to me, my psych encouraged me to write about it instead. And to give her my notes to read. Although it was incredibly difficult to write about, it was easier than vocalising it. In time, with much patience and understanding from my psych, I was eventually able to talk about it.

I certainly do not underestimate how difficult and scary this is. But I know you are strong and resiliant, and I know you want to get better. So I'm confident you can do what is needed. And with a clear picture of all issues concerning you, your psych will be in a much better position to help you.

Stay strong my friend.

Emelia 💝

Thank you @Emelia8 for your thoughtful reply, I sincerely appreciate it as I know that you understand.

I think perhaps I will write something down in preparation just incase I am not able to say the words. I need to get it out next week as I can not do another week with this horrible anxiety.

thanks again @Emelia8