My Mosaic

@Bow

That would be such a cool experience for D! And such a cute tradition with the videos! Hope you sleep well tonight and enjoy the Lego store together tomorrow!

It would have taken a lot out of you @Bow I'm proud of you hon. It's moments like this that our kids remember too.

Glad you got to see the Lion King again. I have seen it but like you it would have been years ago.

Good job for getting to the bookshops and k-pop store. I thought it wouldn't be a trip into the city without going to the lego store!!

There is something special about watching old videos of our kids, especially when they were so young. It's nice that D wants to watch it.

My day was ok. Woke up this morning to rain so an indoor day today.

I hope the rest of your little trip goes well 💗💗

We are back home now. My feet are bad today so am thankful that we really only had 2 places to go. Trip home was delayed which was annoying cause it was so hot.

My dad called to wish my D a happy birthday and then told me that my brother was going to stay with them. He has become very forgetful and confused. He wasn’t taking his medication when he should and his been sleeping a lot, which is very much not like him.

Was relaying this information to my mum and I get a call from my step mum saying that my brother was walking out of his unit and he tripped and hit his head on the concrete. Ambulance was taking him to hospital.

whilst all of this was happening and giving my D her presents I had a call from that manager but couldn’t take it, too much stuff happening. But now have received an email from her that says she is exiting me from their program. Urgh just hits hard. Very much feel alone now.

mum is not doing ok. She is very upset. Don’t feel like I can tell her about all my crap. I just gotta deal. Somehow. It never rains eh. I just don’t know how anymore it’s too hard

@Bow

That’s a lot! It makes sense that you’d be feeling overwhelmed.

Hopefully your CM can refer you to a new provider and the outcome will be better, but I do get that right now the SW support isn’t there which leaves you feeling really alone (and all the more so with your mum dealing with what’s happened with your brother).

It would be really scary to hear that news about your brother. Let us know when you hear more about how he is? It would also be hard trying to process that when you hadn’t even finished telling your mum about your dad.

I’m hoping that you are able to find a few nice moments in celebrating D’s birthday. Not ignoring the hard stuff but because, when things are hard, any good moment is precious. Though it’s also ok if you need time to just feel. Would drawing or writing be a way to express some of what you’re feeling? If it’s helpful to write about on here for us to read and respond to, please do 💛

Thanks @Wintersweet

my dad has just contacted us and it’s not good. He has significant cancer growth in his brain which is what has caused the fall cause he had a seizure. There is a lot of brain pressure. He is staying overnight and the team with consult with palliative care tomorrow. My mum said ‘I’ll have to go back down’. My D said ‘but you’ve only just got back’. Mum said ‘I know but Michael is going to die soon’. My D said ‘why does my birthday have to be so sad’. :( My brother beat brain cancer 30 yrs ago.

@Snowie 

Hey @Bow

Wow I am so sorry to hear about your father, that is incredibly difficult and a lot to process.

Anticipatory grief is very real, and having to also respond to and provide support for your daughter along the way, it sounds incredibly overwhelming. I can only imagine how heavy this is, on top of everything else you've been going through.

I hope you do get to spend a bit of time with your mum before she leaves again. Do you have any wish to go visit him as well? It's okay if you don't. Everyone responds to news like this differently, and there's no right way to manage and process. We will be here to support you along the way <3

Sorry @Jynx its my brother. His cancer has spread significantly now.

id like to go down, but hoping to be able to wait out a week. D has a big school production on next Monday night, been working on it all year. They are putting him on steroids to hopefully reduce the brain swelling.

will find out more tomorrow. But dad called a bit ago for me to let my other brother know that my brother doesn’t have his phone as he just isn’t capable. That’s sad. Scary. That’s significant.

thanks

@Bow I hope you are still able to see your D's production, that would be so special. And I am sending good faith and much hope to you and your family during this difficult time.

Feel free to keep us all posted as much or as little feels comfortable for you hun. Hugs <3

@Bow

I’m so sorry to hear that the cancer has grown so much. I hope you are able to wait out the week, that D can do her school production, that the steroids help with the swelling, and that you’re able to visit your brother.

Jynx is right, supporting D through this would be a lot, and I feel like birthdays are already highly emotional (especially for kids) which would only add to the challenge.

Sending you all the 💛💛💛

Feeling really unsettled and lost today