My Mosaic

@Wintersweet @Snowie

D and I went and did the groceries this morning and went to Kmart for some craft activities. We got some paint by numbers, which we sat and did together for a bit this afternoon. Got a few other things too.

felt a bit overwhelmed with the groceries. I hate grocery shopping. Not much goes in the trolley for me, but today I let D get a few extra snacks cause it’s school holidays and I was just overwhelmed with all of that. Not cause if the cost… just other stuff. Anyways hopefully she picked enough for the week!

I can’t message by CM. They only allow phone calls which I hate. Back when I was first there I had the mobile number for my CM, and the mobile and email for my psych- all very helpful. But none of that happens anymore. Which I hate. Maybe I could write it down and pass it to her at some point? I would have actually really appreciated 10mins even, before the meeting to speak with her. This meeting has been sprung on me, my CM is meant to be there for me and it would be great to have a moment to ensure we are on the same page.

the Lego I have been working on is a large Mickey and Minnie. It’s a retired set, but I found it on aliexpress. You can tell it’s not Lego. Some bricks are hard to click together and weirdly some of like the white ones are dirty. But to look at it, you wouldn’t know. So I’ve finished Mickey. Just need to do Minnie. I’ll show a pic once completed.

I mentioned my D’s food issues to my dietitian and she didn’t think it was too much to worry about. But my old CM said maybe I should get her checked. I’d like to get some blood work done, see what that’s all like. She hasn’t been to a dr in a couple of years, she’s a healthy kid except for needing some ventolin and preventive when she gets sick.

D is going to paint some of her furniture as well. She has 2 raw pine chest if drawers tjat we talked about painting ages ago, and I asked her if she wants to paint with me and she said yes. She wants to do blue and white. Hehe she wanted to put plastic over the clothes so she didn’t have to take everything out! 😂 sorry kid!

all 3 of my foster kids are a kilo now, so need to phone the clinic up and book them in for desexing. D is very sad.

@Wintersweet i really hope the extra day off has been a good reset for you. All those processing issues sound a lot can’t imagine how difficult that could be. Did you do anything fun/nice with your extra day off?

@Snowie a quietish week by the sounds of it then. Glad your mum was ok this morning. Will you have to attend the funeral or will she be ok to go in by herself?

Hi @Bow

Sounds like you've had a busy day. At least the food shopping is done now, hopefully don't have to go back there till next week.

Hopefully with all the art projects it will keep D busy for most of the school holidays. Thats good that she'll have some furniture to paint too. I liked school holidays for the easy mornings, but they were hard work!

I hope the meeting goes ok hon. I know how anxious you are for it and what will happen. The unknown can be terrifing.

I'll have to take mum to the funeral and go in with her. They live on the other side of the city too, so will be a long drive to get there. I hate funerals. Have always told H that I don't want one.

@Bow

Yeah, it’s been a lot to try and work out what to do about it. Today was meant to be a restful day but I’m so tired even the low-pressure plan I made to spend time at my grandparents felt like too much. At the same time I’m glad I didn’t stay home though as I think I needed the distraction ahead of going back to work tomorrow so I couldn’t overthink it.

I’m sorry you can’t write to your CM. That would make things much harder. It’s also tricky that you don’t get to talk to her before the meeting. Do you know what you would say to her? She did seem keen to help work out what was going on with your support, so hopefully she’s able to be helpful in the conversation. I like your idea of writing down the request for her to check on your safety. That’s a good idea!

The paint-by-numbers kits sound like lots of fun, and so does painting furniture together! Looking forward to the Mickey and Minnie Lego photo.

Maybe after the holidays are over you could book an appointment just to ask the GP if they think you should look into anything for D (including whether they want to do any blood tests) or whether they think it’s ok for now with what she’s willing to eat? I guess if she’s ok for now maybe it’s more something to mention to her when she’s older and learning to be more responsible for her own food, so she knows about AFRID and can look into it if she wants?

The kittens have put on weight fast! Hope booking the desexing goes smoothly for you.

@Bow

Because I’m in the later time zone I just wanted to leave some 💛 for your meeting tomorrow. I know it’s scary and I hope it goes as well as possible for you.

Morning dear @Bow

Hoping the meeting goes ok today

Just wanted to let you know that we are here for you

Sending lots of 💗💗💗

@Bow

Thinking of you with the meeting you had today. How did it go? (No pressure to talk about it if that’s unhelpful of course, but I wanted to ask to remind you I care.)

Awful @Wintersweet im devastated there isn’t really a lot to say about it. The manager straight out refused to even consider moving me to a different sw and didnt seem to see or care how unfair it was that I’ve had 5 sw changes and how moving me to another sw case load could offer me a bit of stability finally. The current sw is that young girl who is unresponsive which I shared and who is also pregnant so ANOTHER pending change and she just bloody smiled.

she asked about my supports and I explained that I have never asked for any excessive amounts of support, just basically accepted what has been offered to me. The manager then proceeded to say that they never do daily check ins. That that is excessive. I didn’t ask for it, it’s what was offered a long time ago.

so she basically said there is no sw for me if I wasn’t willing to work with this young girl.

my cm wasn’t of much help.

so I left.

came home and curled up on the couch. I’m so devastated. I’m over it. I try so bloody hard but everyone works against me. I’ll have no sw, no psychologist, a mostly useless cm and a pdoc well whatever. I’ll stick it out til mum gets mum

@Bow

That is devastating. I’m so sorry your CM didn’t advocate for you. The lack of care is awful and it makes sense that you’re really upset.

I know in-person support would be more helpful, but if I can help support you at all I really want to, even if the most helpful thing I can do tonight is remind you that I care.

I’m going to hold off on other suggestions as it feels like it might be unhelpful to suggest anything when you’ve had such a discouraging day. That discouragement deserves to be seen and heard, and I don’t want to invalidate it. 💛

Hi dear @Bow

I'm sorry to read that the meeting was a complete mess. You really don't deserve it. The lack of care is appalling.

If there is anything we can do to help then I'll be there for you

Leaving some 💗💗for you.

@Bow

💛💛💛 for you