My Mosaic

@Snowie I’m really hoping that she grows out of her food aversions.

I took my younger brother to a swans game many years ago. Organisation that I was part of had members tickets that we could use. I can remember ending up in the wrong part of the members section cause I had a younger child and there were people drinking. Oops I beat a grand final match would be a great atmosphere to be part of.

nrl final is next weekend yeah?

What did you get up to today? do you have a busy week?

i ended up sanding back the old cabinet I got weeks ago. Took all the hardware off and dragged it outside. Couldn’t get the old lock mechanism off though :( it has no key so bought a replacement lock but if I can get the old one off not sure what to do.

I finished some Lego. And then have sat on the couch. D came and sat with me for a bit, we watch some of the wonka game show. I’m feeling rather anxious about 2 weeks of holidays. The pressure to assume and entertain is huge. I know she is perfectly capable of entertaining herself, but I don’t want her downstairs or in her room for 2 weeks. Will go to Kmart tomorrow when we do groceries and get some craft stuff. But even then there is the pressure to do that with her. Most of the time I just don’t have anything to give. Anyways

@Wintersweet how was your day?

my D is extremely fussy when it comes to food. I even think she has some ARFID traits. She definitely has issues with texture, she can taste the difference between different brands, so dinner time is stressful even more cause of my own issues as well.

do you have a busy week coming up?

Feeling a lot of heaviness tonight. Sad. I’m tired too. Going to bed shortly. But so much anxiety about Tuesday. And about the next 2 weeks

Here with you @Bow.

If you need to share what you're feeling anxious about (to help release it before you sleep), feel free to leave it here and I will respond so you can read it tomorrow. 💛

I know you mentioned that things have been hard @Snowie. How are things at home and with H? I am curious to know if you have been journaling and seeing your therapist too? Sending big hugs your way. 🫶

Hey @AuntGlow

just got a meeting with my CM and the manager of the service that I have my SW through. I’m having yet again another change and I am so cranky about it. The manager isn’t the nicest of people and has zero empathy. So I am very anxious about that and what the outcome will be. I’m really struggling at the moment and getting next to no support.

And because I’m struggling so much I’m anxious about the next 2 weeks of holidays.

Feeling cranky makes complete sense, this uncertainty would be a lot for your nervous system to hold. @Bow

What might help you to go into this next meeting feeling more grounded?

Okay, can you identify what the anxiety around the holiday period is? Let's start there. 🫶

@Bow

It would be a lot to have D at home and to feel like you need to entertain her. The craft stuff is a great idea though. How do you find it if the two of you are working on your own craft stuff in the same space but with less direct interaction?

I had another thought, which you might not like, and that’s ok, but, would it be a good idea to send your CM a message asking her to do a safety check in with you after the meeting on Tuesday? It should be on her to think about these things of course, but, given that she doesn’t always seem to, I wonder if asking in advance might be helpful?

I can see what you mean about the AFRID traits with D. Has she ever been assessed for it or for neurodivergence at all? (No need to discuss it if you don’t want to of course.) Either way, it would make it really hard for you, especially with the stuff you have to deal with internally around food as well.

What was the Lego you finished? The project with the old cabinet sounds fascinating too!

My week isn’t super busy but I’ve been finding my ability to focus/process information/make decisions/start tasks/tolerate sensory stuff (especially at work) has been glitching the past few weeks. Tomorrow is a public holiday so by Tuesday I’ll have had 5 days away from my regular work. I’m hoping that will be a bit of a reset but I’ll have to wait and see.

💛 for you and @Snowie

Hi @AuntGlow

Yes still seeing my psych on a regular basis. She does help and is easy to talk too.

I've been journalling quite a bit lately. I find it helps in getting thoughts out of my head.

H is going well but working long hours.

Hi @Bow

S was very particular about foods when he was young. Now he'll eat anything.

I hope the school holidays go ok. I know that pressure to do things during the day. Its hard when we don't have that much left in the tank. I hope you picked up some good finds from kmart. I think some pj days sound good!

My week's not looking too bad. Took mum out this morning, she was ok.

A friend of hers passed away so will have to take her to the funeral. Just waiting for the date.

How are you going?

@AuntGlow i don’t know what is going to help me feel more grounded for this meeting. I am expecting this manager to be on the attack, she has no empathy and I’m not expecting her to understand or support my needs. I will not be surprised if she decides to exit me. And I am very annoyed that my CM has not allowed any time before the meeting to speak with me privately. Sigh

School holidays…. It’s the pressure to be a good parent and make sure she has plenty of things to do. Spend time with her doing stuff. And while yes I want to spend time and I will, I don’t have a huge capacity. Gotta make sure everything around the house gets done too.

how are you?