My Mosaic

Thanks @Wintersweet @Snowie

my dietitian appointment went ok, but she is really concerned about me medically with the symptoms I am experiencing. We talked through some strategies and plans to try to keep me medically stable while mum is away. I was honest with her though and said I don’t feel overly confident in doing any of it. It’s hard when you get to the end of the day and need to face dinner time and you’ve already reach your capacity to cope… nothing left in the tank.

and then the home visit and meal support with the manager. That was god awful. She arrived 10 minutes early and I had only just finished with my dietitian appointment. As soon as she was in the door she asked what I was aiming to eat, I said nothing cause I feel sick. Which I feel so sick. Thought of food is yuck. My cat obviously had to go say hi to her and I try to remember to ask if a visitor is ok with cats and she said she was allergic! Should have left him to wander around. She made small talk for a couple of minutes and then we sat in silence for 20mins. I then told her she could go and apologized for wasting her time. But no. She said she had a couple of hours.. until 2! She asked if I’d eaten yet- no. What about last night- nope…. She reminded me she had until 2. Argh! We sat in silence for 50 minutes and I asked her to please leave that this was more distressing than helpful. But she’s gonna call at 2 to see if I’ve eaten and then see me on Tuesday. And I’m absolutely sure that she will bring today up and how I wasted her time.

and my CM is yet to call me.

I hope your days are going ok? Please let me know how you are

@Bow

I’m glad your dietician showed (what sounds like) an appropriate level of concern for your wellbeing. It would be extremely hard to have to do one of the most challenging parts of your day at the end when you feel you have nothing left in the tank.

I’m sorry the visit with the manager was so hard. Well done for asking her to leave. Was it the feeling that she was giving the time so she could say you wasted it that made it distressing? The choices she’s made before that haven’t been addressed? Something else?

I’m sorry eating is so hard right now. 💛

Obviously they aren’t easy, but were there any of the strategies from the dietician that you thought might possibly be helpful?

My day was actually good. I heard some women share some really vulnerable things in a context where it wouldn’t usually be expected. I was encouraged by their honesty, in admiration of their courage, and reminded of you and @Snowie and how much I appreciate you both sharing, how encouraging it is to know I’m not alone, and how much I value you both. 💛

@Bow and @Snowie thinking of you both💛

Thanks @Wintersweet

I hope your day is going well

Hey @Bow I hope today is going ok

Just at home watching the footy final.

Your day yesterday sounded nice @Wintersweet sounded like a really encouraging time.

the manager yesterday, think it was all of it. Knowing she will use it against me on Tuesday, she was a stranger and someone that I just don’t trust. She was in my safe space. All of that was distressing.

One of the strategies my dietitian mentioned was having some juice while cooking dinner. I was struggling with really bad nausea come dinner time, cooking the food made it worse. She said that that maybe because my blood sugars are low. So trying to sip on juice while cooking dinner may help that so it makes having dinner a bit easier. So I could try that. And trying to have some up and gos.

I’ve slept most of the day. Woke up feeling really not ok. Messaged ex to see if he could come pick D up instead of me driving her, really didn’t feel safe out there. Took some meds and went back to bed. Woke up cause it was so hot.

hope your Saturday is ok @Wintersweet and @Snowie i was wondering if your be watching the footy. Still wet down there?

Hi @Bow I can understand it being your safe space. I feel the same way about my house.

I really hope it's not used against you on Tuesday.

Perhaps juice whilst cooking can help. I've never heard of that before.

Do you ever have a cooking day? I cook about 4 different meals and then freeze them in meal sizes. That way when I don't feel like cooking I can grab them out and the family can have them. Of course, it helps if you have a big freezer!!

The other thing I do is use my slow cooker a lot. Put something on in the morning and don't have to worry about it till tea time. Serve it up and its done.

I hope your nap helped a little.

Yes watching the footy, but don't really cares who wins. Could easily fall asleep on the couch!

Been very wet and cold today where we are.

The juice while cooking is to bring my blood sugars up, cause apparently nausea is a sign of low blood sugars? @Snowie

i guess I could do a cooking day, just not sure how I’d do it all when I have to alter or cook something different for D. We did a meal plan for the week just gone, but my lack of eating threw that out the window. But I did cook spag bog, as request by D cause she had it at camp and she liked it. But just a small amount. I got the most plain sauce, just plain tomato. But of course it had onion in it. 🤦🏼‍♀️ we argued that camos sauce would have had onion most likely. Like they would buy up the plainest cheapest jars and throw it in a big pot. Nope. Sigh.

anyways. I can report that I have finally had a shower. It was really bad the amount of days it’s been. But all clean now, shaved legs, hair washed and a good scrub.

big game today. Lots of afl stuff on sunrise this morning, super expensive flights from Perth and people driving for days to get here. Never really been into footy… might of liked it a bit in year 7 cause my first bf liked it 😂 footy was big in tassie though, but not nrl. Who do you go for?

Well I guess the juice can't hurt @Bow Guess it's a try and see.

It does make it harder with kids. I'm sure the camp spag had onion in it too. I guess with mine being a lot older they are open to try different foods. I still get requests from them!

Well done on the shower. It's amazing to think how hard it is to motivate oneself to have a shower when we feel so much better afterwards. I washed my hair Thursday (after quite a long time) Felt so much better!!

I and D go for Carlton and H and S go for Hawthorn. I grew up in a household that followed AFL. We went to lots of games growing up. Was on the tv every weekend. The kids have been to lots of games too.

H and I actually went to a grand final one year. The crowd and atmosphere was just amazing.

@Bow

Having someone you don’t trust in your safe space would be so uncomfortable. That’s a really good way of expressing that aspect of why it was so hard.

I hope the juice idea helps. I’m glad she could give you something that might help with the nausea aspect of things.

I’m super happy for you that you were able to have a shower. It really is such a nice feeling and I’m glad you were able to experience that today.

I also expect you’re right about the onion. I wonder what the negative association is for D. Do you know if it’s the texture, the flavour of raw onion, the flavour of onion when it’s on its own? It would be hard for you when it’s in so much stuff.

@Snowie

I hope couch time with the footy on has been a bit of a rest for you. I was listening to podcast today with a lady talking about the value of sport and how the culture around it is so rich. I’m not doing her justice, but the way she put it into words really highlighted the value of not just the experience for the players but for everyone who goes through the highs and lows with them.

My day was ok. Fairly quiet, which was probably good considering Thursday and Friday were really full on and tomorrow is going to be as well. It’s important to me but will take a lot of one on one social energy that I’m not sure I have. 😅

Hi @Wintersweet

Even though today sounds difficult, I hope you are getting through it ok.

Hoping today is going ok for you too @Bow

Leaving lots of 💗💗