My Mosaic

Yeah @Wintersweet my cm was rather dismissive and blahsay about it until I let her know what I have been doing. And it was me that bought it up, she didn’t ask or anything. Had to say well actually…. She is a bit like that though, it was the same on Saturday when she called.

She did call me back late this arvo, asked if I had the contact details of her manager, which I did so gave them to her. She is working afternoon tomorrow so won’t get to call her until then. My current sw doesn’t work Wednesday and if that young girl contactsme I think I will scream at her.

im just really disappointed. After what happened yesterday and I told them how it’s affecting me, there was no care at all to check in. Even if the sw is away and the young girl, the team leader will still contactme .

which then has me catasrophising. I know that’s not helpful, but just being honest about where I’m at. Especially when my old sw didn’t call me back. No one called me today. Maybe the manager has told everyone to not contactme. Especially my old sw. She really doesn’t have anything to do with our office. Maybe she was told not to engage with me. And then I go down the path of maybe they are just going to exit me. Wipe their hands of me cause I’m too difficult.

yeah my cm was the one who mentioned about switching providers. I guess it’s always an option, not the greatest and who knows if I’ll have the same issues. Yeah and I might mention what the sw said about her own manager. That’s really not ok.

I tried to eat some dinner tonight. Just wasn’t hungry. Know that my dietitian appointment on Friday will be interesting. Will be working on some harm reduction I think.

@Snowie i get the day at home and avoiding. I think that’s what I’ll do tomorrow. Got no appointments so can stay home.

how was both of your days?

@Bow

It sucks that she didn’t hear you and was so dismissive until you told her what you’d been doing. It also really sucks that the old SW didn’t call you back. Does she report to the same manager? Knowing how much she cares about you I’m sure she’s also really upset if she’s not been allowed to contact you. 💛

I’m glad you were able to share what you’re thinking about it, I think it’s very understandable to be catastrophising/spiralling with all this going on and that anyone would be struggling to make sense of it and trying to come up with explanations. I know I would!

Would it help to have something pre-written in case the young SW tries to contact you? I imagine it’s hard to put into words but maybe something like “There’s been a pattern of me telling you I’m not coping and then not receiving any follow up. When that happens it actually makes things worse for me, so I’m not going to answer.”? You might be able to word it a lot better though!

I’m also appalled that they haven’t checked in with you after what you told them. How do you feel about writing to someone like your MP or ombudsman? Either now or when your mum is back? (If you don’t want to that’s an ok answer! I was just curious because I remember that it sounded like it was helpful when you wrote to them before.)

I get why switching providers might not feel like a great option, and that the uncertainty would be hard. If you do decide to, I really hope it’s helpful.

Well done for trying with dinner. Hoping the dietician can indeed help you with harm reduction. I know she’s really supportive and I’m glad you’ll get to see her.

My day was ok, had to work quite hard this morning to drag my brain away from a spiral. Work’s continued to be a struggle, although today was a bit better and I’m going to a work event Thursday/Friday that’s offsite. So, I’m hoping that the five days away from my regular work (Mon is a public holiday in WA) will act as a bit of a reset.

I see my psych tomorrow, so tonight I’m going to work out what to bring up and write that down for her. There’s so much more that I feel like I need to talk to her about than what we’ll have time for. Trying to manage the pre-emptive disappointment and still do what I can to make good use of the time even though I’m pretty sure it won’t feel like enough, but that’s definitely a challenge.

Hi @Bow

I hope you can have a relaxing day at home today

Leaving some 💗💗 for you

Barley gotten out of bed Snowie

they are punishing me for being bad for doing the wrong thing I’m lost confused can’t keep doing this

Hey @Bow

Here if you need to talk it out or just sit

Thanks @snowie

im really not doing ok and I have no idea who I can call or whatever

feel like they have just black listed me or something. Don’t contact her

Done too much dumb stuff today

Hello lovely @Bow 💛

I can see that things are feeling extra vulnerable today, so I was wondering, what do you need most right now? How can we all be there for you?

Need to know who I am suppose to reach out to @AuntGlow everything is screwed up it’s never ending and I’m over it

I wish I could help and tell you who to ring @Bow to make all of this better. If only it was ever that easy hon.

💗💗