My Mosaic

I did cause I said hi wintersweet at the end.

what did I do wrong??

Can’t even tag a moderator anymore either

Hey @Bow!

How are you? 💛

I don't believe we deleted a post of yours. ☺️ When did you send it through?

Hi @AuntGlow

apart from being annoyed that my post has disappeared, didn’t take the time to write it for it to go…sent it after snowies last reply and before 5:30. I’m struggling. Lots going on. Sad.

I can't see any post around that time, so know that nothing was edited or changed on our end! But I do understand how frustrating these kind of glitches can be. It happens to us sometimes too! Are you able to try reposting? @Bow 🫶

What's coming up for you tonight? And what are you needing most to feel safe and soothed in this moment?

No @AuntGlow don’t have it in me anymore. Frustrating.

mums heading to tassie at the end of the week and my sw has been very unpredictable and unreliable so lotsa fears around being left on my own to cope. Too many new sw, another new pdoc this week and my psychologist is about to leave too.

D is at school camp.

my tooth/ jaw is aching tonight too, not sure if it’s from clenching my jaw.

I understand what you mean, and it sounds like you're really needing some safety and stability in your support network right now. There have been SO many changes over the past year for you, so how you're feeling makes perfect sense. @Bow It would be really hard to constantly adjust to new people and have to work on building rapport/trust over and over again... 😔

I am curious, is there one area of your life that feels most stable right now? It can be anything, for example, your morning routine or your forum connections. I think if we connect to the things that feel most grounding, it will help a lot tonight. 💛

@Bow

I’m so sorry the system glitched and your post was lost.

It makes sense that you’re feeling scared of having your mum away with how unreliable your SW support has been and with the new pdoc and with your psychologist leaving.

Did you get to ask for the young SW to stop contacting you? I know how triggering it’s been to have her ask how you are and then not reply to your safety concerns. Hoping that removing that trigger makes things a little easier for you while you work with your CM to work out how to get better support going forward. But also please know that I see how hopeless and overwhelming it would all feel and that, while I hope for better for you, I don’t want to minimise how awful it feels right now, the cumulative impact of being let down by supports/having them changed on you, or the uncertainty of how things will go. Sitting with you 💛

Hi @Bow

Hoping today is going ok for you. At least no school run today.

Hopefully D is enjoying herself.

@Bow

Thinking of you 💛

Hey @Snowie @Wintersweet I was gonna say good morning but it’s 11:58 and by the time I finish this and post it it will be afternoon.

I was awake early this morning, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep in while D is at camp. I had a heap of really weird dreams about snakes this morning. Red belly’s coming inside and all about the place. Terrified of snakes and as the weather warms up they are out and about already. But yeah was weird, kept waking up from them and then going back to sleep again to the same dreams.

but I got up and was out the door at 8am to get my bloods done. Was busy. A couple of people a head of me and then a few more came in and then in walks a guy, sits down for 5mins and then gets up and makes a fuss. Was so rude. I got a really nice lady thankfully, cause forgot that an ECG= height and weight. I asked for her to not tell me and she was fine with that. And she made sure that I didn’t see it written down too. So although not as bad as the last time, it was still a bit triggering for me.

my SW sent me a text while I was out saying she could come visit at 9:30. I didn’t see it until I got home at 9:50. So now of course that’s it for the day 😩 I liked how my old SW’s were more organized. But guess it makes it hard when they aren’t allowed to use their own cars anymore. They have 4 work cars… and I know there are at least 6 female workers, I don’t see any of the males so no idea how many of them there are. It’s stupid. @Wintersweet havent had the chance to tell them I don’t want contact with the young sw.

now I’m laying on the couch and I have zero motivation to do anything.

how are you both today? What are you up to?