My Mosaic

Sitting with you @Bow, you have quite a lot going on, sorry it’s taken a bit to get back on. I hope you are able to get some rest to recharge, it would be incredibly exhausting. I am off for a nap but might be able to get on a bit later. 💜

hello @Wintersweet, I connect with you re ND and it unsettling things, I am still in the early stages of recognising this as another thing that can upset my equilibrium. Some of it is so subtle though right and can get confusing with other things in the mix you don’t end up knowing what’s causing what. I am glad the fog is lifting you must feel some relief. I’m ok got some words back just incredibly tired just not recharging. Ah well.

@Snowie love your 💌, that was very touching thankyou 💚. How did your washing go? I did some today 😊. How’s your day?

Afternoon @Chasingsunsets

Didn't get everything finished yesterday so finished it today. Just have to wait for some to dry.

Went and saw my mum this morning. Been home on the couch since. Be an early night tonight.

How has your day been?

Hi @Snowie @Wintersweet @Chasingsunsets

hope your days were ok. I didn’t really do much. Not really coping with everything that is going on. Have decided that I will no longer communicate with that young sw. I replied to her text this morning and again nothing. I really could have done with some kind of support today, but no. So no more. I can’t keep being vulnerable and getting slapped with silence. I have my psychologist appointment tomorrow morning and then I’m going to pick up 3 little foster kittens.

Evening @Bow

You need to do what is right for you hon. If thats having no contact with a specific SW than thats what you do. You are always what is important.

I hope your psych appt. goes well

Ohhhh 3 little kittens!! I am picturing how adorable they are going to be. You'll have to show us a pic of them. I hope they don't keep you awake at night!

Hey @Snowie

I should probably tell someone or do I just ignore her? Think I need to tell them not to bother, it would still distress me getting these text from her.

I don’t wanna go tomorrow. I’ve done nothing. I’m just surviving. Oh well. It is what it is.

yes will post a photo once I have them back home. Haven’t told D yet, will surprise her. She started packing for camp this afternoon- told her she needed to wait until after the house inspection. They have been told no big suitcases, but they have so much to pack!

my brother had a bad night last night. His at my dad’s now and is going to stay there the next few nights.

how was your day? Do you have ECT this week?

@Bow

Sorry if this is a bit rambling but I wanted to at least try and respond.

I wonder if you would be better off telling them you don’t want contact from her (rather than ignoring the texts) so you don’t have her turn up in person? I don’t know if she would just turn up if you didn’t reply, but also, if you didn’t reply and she didn’t turn up, I imagine that might feel like more of the same lack of care. Plus it gives you a chance to explain why you need her to stop contacting you. Could you talk to your CM about it?

I get not wanting to go see the psych. I hope you’re able to though and that he’s able to validate how hard it is to be stuck in survival mode, but only because I want you to have support. Don’t want you to feel bad if you can’t though. 💛

Continuing to be thinking of you and your family.

The kittens sound cute! Can’t wait to see a photo. What a nice surprise for D!

@Snowie

Well done for the stuff you got done today. Sending you 💛

@Chasingsunsets

Hope you had an ok day. I also relate to the “nothing feels recharging”. I think sometimes being neurodivergent can make it hard to know what combination of rest and activation we need. E.g. whether I need mental rest and physical input, or positive sensory input, or sensory rest. What have you noticed when you’ve tried to recharge?

Sorry @Bow feel asleep early last night

You could always tell them that getting texts from multiple SW is very unsettling for you. That you would rather it just be your own SW. As I said before, you need to do what is right for you hon. In this case, only your feelings/thoughts matter.

D will certainly be surprised when she gets home and sees the kittens. Is she excited about camp?

They do seem to pack a lot for camp. I remember my kids lists!

I have ECT Friday.

Good morning @Wintersweet @Chasingsunsets

I hope both of your days go well for you

How are you both?

@Snowie

I’m really tired but going to try and get some work done. Hope your day goes well for you too 💛

Hey folks

super tired today even to the point I had to lay down while I was trying to get ready to leave the house. Was feeling really queasy and that feeling I’ve had many times before before I faint.

But I did manage to get out of the house although a little bit late to my appointment. Talked a bit about grief, sadness and allowing myself to cry when I need to. Tried to talk about that feeling of guilt when I do not wish to be alive anymore and my brother dying and would give anything to be healthy. Maybe my tiredness messed up my words or I just wasn’t able to communicate properly cause I don’t think he really understood.

@Wintersweet i will talk with my CM tomorrow about my ongoing issues with my SW. neither of them are in today. I had a missed call from the team leader- I was in my psych appointment. Hopefully my CM will be able to offer some guidance @Snowie

mum came with me for the drive out to get the kittens. We stopped off at my fav little op shop too. Didn’t find anything today. Oh and I found a Starbucks! Our closest was in the city, but now I could stop for a drink in the way to pick up or drop off kittens!

so I picked up 3 little girls! Dolly, Jolene and the other starts with C but I can’t remember. They are all healthy just need to put on weight.