My Mosaic

Good morning (just) @Bow

Hoping the antibiotics have kicked in and you are feeling a little better.

Coming of meds is hard. Last time I did, it was hard. Yes perhaps a change might help, but doing that change is hard both physically and mentally. I think you really have to weigh up the pros and cons.

My pdoc is good. I don't speak to him like I do to my psych but he does listen and doesn't just blow me off. He does manage all my meds. I have been seeing him for quite awhile now.

Afternoon @Snowie

my ear is really blocked today. Annoying me. Just crawled into bed to have a nap… it won’t annoy while I sleep.

having a rough day today. Called and cancelled my psychologist and CM appointment for this morning. Didn’t speak with my psych, but eventually spoke with my interim CM. From Tuesday she is on 2 weeks leave! URGH. So I will have an interim interim CM. I’m just so annoyed with it all. Frustrates me. I haven’t even got to see my interim one yet. I’ve booked an appointment for Tuesday to go and see her, should be better by then. But she called me back and changed it to a Telehealth video appointment incase I’m sick still. I understand she doesn’t wanna get sick. But I really need some decent face to face support. So much chopping and changes that I don’t cope with.

hopefully your pdoc can sort your meds without it being too disruptive for you.

you up to much today?

Hi @Bow

No wonder you are frustrated with it all hon. So many changes happening and people constantly away. That face to face support is so important. Not having it would make things very difficult.

I hope you are able to have a nap.

Not up to much today. Very cold and wet here. Defiantly an indoor day.

SW came by @Snowie wanted to do a well being check. Told her in as fewer words as possible how I felt. She sat and talked at me for far too long. She was saying she was wanting to organize a meeting asap with my interim CM, me and her to talk how best to support me. Told her that ain’t gonna happen for a while.

I feel like I’m stuck in a deep crater and people keep throwing bombs in and messing everything up and I don’t ever get the chance to recover from one explosion before I get hit by another and the climb out just keeps getting steeper and steeper.

and just in case, I’m sharing this to try not feel so alone and cause I got no one to physically tell this to, it helps to get it out of my head and yes I am safe right now.

I didn’t get a nap,cause she came. And then our landlord has been to do some maintenance. His gone to have some lunch and go to bunnings to get something and he will be back. Had his new wife with him. Very very young Philippine girl. She’s not enjoying the cold!

you on the couch hon? What ya watching? I finished a movie on Tubi that I started last night. Put another one on but lost interest in it.

I'm glad the SW came by @Bow Hopefully she can be supportive for you. I realise it probably wasn't very good timing, but I guess a visit is better than nothing. Hopefully when you feel better you can have a meeting about how they can support you better.

That feeling of being hit time and time again can be really hard. It feels like it never stops, you never get a break from it. When you think you might be able to at least breathe, you get hit once again.

If it helps to get it out then do so hon.

I won't say anything about your landlords new wife!! But it would be cold for her.

Not really watching much. Got the tv series Bones on just for some background noise. Seen it before but a long time ago.

Haha @Snowie 😆 his new wife. His actually really nice, this will be their family home once she gets a permanent visa and they have kids and grow up a little. Not small kid friendly with all the stairs. But yeah it’s a typical older white man young philopino lady.

MH stuff is so exhausting. I’m looking forward to going to tassie. I know my mh issues will come with me and I’ll have my struggles, but I’m hoping it’s a break of some kind. Our airb&b is very close to the beach, which will be nice.

bones was a good series.

anything on tomorrow?

I guess at least if he is happy @Bow Nice that you have a good landlord.

Hoping the trip to Tassie is a bit of a reset for you. Your right that our MH issues don't go away when we go somewhere, but I guess any sort of a break will be nice.

Hopefully you see some nice sunrises and sunsets.

I've gone all the way back to season 1 to watch Bones. I did read a lot of Kathy Reichs books and like them.

Not much on tomorrow. Will have to go down and see mum in the morning but hoping thats it.

Have you got any plans?

My brother has already put in a big hint to do a trip down to hobart while we are there @Snowie he wants to go on the steam train.

Will you be just visiting with your mum or taking her out?

Not much tomorrow for me. But if my ear is still giving this much grief I will call my gp and try and get in to actually see her. She’s working Saturday too. It’s been really bad this afternoon. Feels really blocked. Pressure. I been trying everything. Blocking my nose and blowing. Laying on my side. Currently laying in the couch with a heat pack. I’ve taken medication (Edited by Forums Moderator). Nothing seems to relieve it.

suppose to have market Saturday, but pretty sure we won’t be going. It’s freezing out there during winter, especially at 6am set up. Will just have to get a medical certificate from my gp and that way we won’t have to pay.

A few trips/outings with your brother sound nice @Bow

Hopefully you can make some lasting memories.

Would be good if you could see your gp in person. Try and get on top of what you've got.

Thats good if u don't have to pay for the market. Going might make you worse.

Im hoping just to go visit mum and have a coffee with her. Would rather not have to take her out.

I had to go down this morning because her mobile and hearing aids didn't charge. She'd turned them off at the power point 😩

Are you feeling better now from your sickness? @Bow

Geelong is lovely. Spirit of Tassie again? Cool!

Btw, how is your brother?

Sorry I haven't been around much.