My Mosaic

Good work on getting the groceries done @Bow Just getting out of the house can be hard.

I'm sorry but thats stupid if a pdoc can't write up meds for you or if there is no one there that can't write them up. I remember you talking about it awhile ago and they haven't been able to do anything about it.

At least the new SW came. What was he/she like?

My day, urgh. One of those days where you want to go back to the start and hide in bed all day.

Yep was an effort to get dressed and out the door @Snowie and I was not prepared and had no shopping list so just wandered aimlessly. Frustrating

SW was ok. Spent ages putting in supports for this week… their calendar system they use was really slow. She’s away for a week from next Wednesday, so new SW will see me then. I am still very much in an extremely low depressive mood and shut down so not much to say. SW would talk about stuff… ask me questions and then refer to new SW. New SW didn’t really say much. I tuned out a couple of times. Told them about my brother too. Pushing me to have a shower. Can’t be bothered. Don’t care.
cooking dinner tonight I accidentally poured boiling water over my hand…. Care? Nope. Didn’t bother with cold water.

Been doing some more research and reading studies about continuity of care. SW reminded me today that I could still speak with the manager. I honestly don’t know if it would make any difference… she’s already read what I wrote last time. Mum even said today that she’d email the manager cause she’s concerned about me. Mums noticed.

im really sorry today was such a rough day for you. Bed soon?

Well done for getting out at least @Bow

Glad they have put some supports in place hon. Hoping they actually do what they say and help.

I'm not surprised your mum has noticed. Maybe thats a good thing. Maybe your mum emailing them might help. I guess at least she can try.

Bed very soon. Got pdoc tomorrow morning. Only via phone but I guess better than nothing. Bit to discuss.

Hey @Bow 🫶

Just checking in. I am back from a week off, so catching up on your posts!

I think your frustration around your hospital stay is very understandable, especially when you planned things out so thoroughly beforehand. I would feel disappointed too. 😣

I can see how hard you have been working to get support, especially around accessing ECT and with your support workers.

I understand if it's hard to answer this right now, but what do you imagine your next steps might be? What feels right for you? 💛

Yeah I guess what my new SW does….. or doesn’t do while my SW is away will be a good indicator of what she will be like @Snowie

yeah maybe I’ll get mum to email the manager too…. It might help.

I’ve had my meds…. So probably in bed soon too

Hey @AuntGlow welcome back, did you have a nice break? Get up to much?

A lot can happen in a week I guess…. They have decided that now would be the most amazing time to change my support worker! I’ve already told my SW and the team leader how absolutely stupid this is and how detrimental it will be, but they are still doing it. They are saying it can be a slow transition, but that means nothing.

I can take it further… to the manager and then to HR.

things have taken a considerable step backwards. Many steps backwards. Have shutdown. Not in a good way at all.

see pdoc tomorrow. But another new one and this is the one and only time I’ll see this one cause then they leave. Sigh.
ECT has kinda been shelved I guess. Can ask about it tomorrow but probably a waste of time. I want to ask about another treatment but I can mention it on here not allowed. But that’ll probably be a no, only available privately I bet.

oh and got not good news about my brother in tassie fighting cancer. He ended up in hospital late last week in pain. Cancer has grown. They are talking palative care, but will know more next week when he sees his oncologist. We will probably go down and spend some time with him.

so yep that’s my week….

I did! I was performing in a show, which was really fun, albeit challenging - a healthy mix of both. @Bow 🥰

Gah! I am so sorry to hear this. I know how destabilising these changes have been for you and it must be so overwhelming to experience this again.

What would you like to say to management and HR?

Please let me know how your pdoc appointment goes and remember that you're allowed to ask as many questions as you need.

Seeing your brother sounds really important right now. This must be really scary news for you all... how are you taking care of yourself this week? And is there anything you might need from our community right now? 🫶

Hey @Bow

How did today go?

Hi @Snowie

@at the risk of being silenced again today has been bloody awful.

pdoc decided he wanted to be really thorough and wanted to know everything. Asked a million questions. Instead of discussing the issue with my stimulant script he has just decided I will stop it cold turkey. This is the first time he had met me and the only time. And he stops a med I’ve been on for years that has been beneficial. He put me on another antidepressant.
my SW was there, I knew she was coming. And while waiting she was like your new SW is coming too!!?? So I had both of them and then my CM too and she had to ask a student (!!!!!) to leave cause there was too many! Wasn’t even informed about the student.

once we had finished with the pdoc my CM had arranged to speak with me afterwards- I thought it was a bit sus when she said it on Sunday during her home visit. We chatted a bit and then she drops the bomb…. ‘Well I’ve got some news’.
it’s just a fu€king joke for them all. She’s going on a secondment and I get a new CM!!! Farrrkkkk.
I left. My SW was outside still, think they were waiting to talk with me. You wanna know the big fat cherry on the top Snowie….. they all knew. They all knew that my CM was going too cause the SW’s team leader did the interviews for the position and knew that my CM got the position. And they still thought it would be a great idea to still move SW.

im just so done. It’s a game for them. Throw people around and see what more damage they can do.
im so broken. I give up

what about you?

Hey hon @Bow

I'm sorry today has been like this.

I will say that it showed a lot of strength and courage just to go to the pdoc appt. knowing this was a one off.

I can't say much about the meds hon, I know we cannot name them on here, but still doesn't make sense. I really hope it doesn't make things worse, but can totally understand your frustration and worry about making things worse.
Thats a lot of people in one room!

Oh dear hon, that is not good news about your CM. It sounds like when it feels like things cannot get worse, they just seem to get worse.

I don't blame you for wanting to give up.

What's on for tomorrow?

I'm ok, Spoke with pdoc this morning. Blurted out a few things. Wants me to do ect fortnightly, but too hard for H with work.