My Mosaic

Hi @Bow

After such a positive start yesterday I totally get how frustrated and annoyed you would be.

It's so hard when you just have to wait especially when they can't give you an answer and what happens is in someone else's control.

I'm glad you SW came to see you but its a shame she can't do much either.

Hi @Bow I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, but I also wanted to point out how darn brave you have been and the way you decided to stay there despite the way you have been spoken to and treated. I think that is a real testimony to your courage and commitment to yourself and I hope they will let you see your support people soon and that you get to have a drink other than water. You have done what you needed to do which is so impressive even though you are feeling and understandably so, very vulnerable.

I’m sorry it’s been like this today @Bow and that you have all control taken from you. Being voluntary doesn’t seem to count for much in the public system.

I really hope things improve for you hon.

Sending lots of love ❤️

Oh good lordy they got approval and stock from the pharmacy for my stimulant medication and they came to give me my midday dose! I’ll be awake all night!

thanks @Eve7 @Tolly @Snowie

Yeah Eve it really doesn’t seem to mean anything. They left me all these brochures and it says that I can leave at anytime I want I just have to tell someone. I guess that really doesn’t mean much.? This is what really terrifies me at being here, that despite being voluntary, they can just decide to hold me here and section me if they want to. Once you’re here and have your foot in the door and the door locks behind you, that’s it. Goodbye.

there are student nurses around at the moment and one came and had a chat with me. She asked, so I vented.

im going to call my CM tomorrow and talk to her about leave. Cause they were apparently waiting to hear back from her and I haven’t heard anything.

I hope you CM can work things out for you tomorrow @Bow

Hoping they might be able to speed up the process too. I know waiting around can be exhausting.

I had 3 naps today @Snowie !!!

how are you?

After the last few days you must have needed the naps @Bow

I am ok, just spent day on couch/bed

Just got moved upstairs @Snowie

so hopefully will see the new psych team and things can get rolling.

So so proud of you @Bow - I know it's scary and that there's a lot of those feelings of loss of control and loss of agency bubbling up for you. It sucks that even as a voluntary admission you still need to play by their rules and restrictions. You're doing amazingly to be pushing through, remembering why you're there, and roping in as many of your supports along the way as you can.

Glad you also got to vent a bit with the student nurse and had three (3!) naps today. Body needs rest!!

Did you bring some crafting things or other activities to help you keep occupied whilst there?

You're being so incredibly brave and you're persevering. Be proud of yourself! And we will be here for you every step 💜

Thanks @Jynx

yeah I bought some colouring in and paint by number kits. I have also packed a heap of my journaling supplies which my SW will grab from home today and bring in.

there are a lot of really unwell people on this ward. Seeing people and hearing them… it’s really confronting and scary. Doesn’t feel safe