My Mosaic

Hey @Bow

Here if you want to chat.

Pancakes sound yummy especially with nutella. At least you had some fruit with them!!!

Thanks @Snowie

feeling rather nauseous this arvo. Been a big afternoon. Went to my appointment at comm mh. My CM is away, so seen the lady I seen a few weeks back when my CM was away then. She said she was pretty concerned after her phone call Monday and she asked what felt like a million questions. And feeling as tired as I am today it was heaps hard stringing sentences together. She was really pushing I go into hospital today. I begged and pleaded with her. Cried. She is going to call me tomorrow.

then had my surgery follow up and I’ve gotta have further surgery. They found some not so good growths. Still processing. :((. :((

oh dear @Bow

It certainly sounds like you have had a huge stressful day with both appointments.

Answering that many questions would have been really hard.

I can understand why she was pushing for an admission but at the same time I know you are trying to plan it around your mum and D.

Sorry to hear about the additional surgery you have to have. Did they give you any timeline?

What is happening now? I'm just on the couch contemplating cooking tea or getting something delivered.

@Bow oh hun sounds super overwhelming to be peppered with questions and feeling pushed to go in earlier than expected. Would it be better to not have to wait as long, or better to stick to the plan you have? I guess you can discuss that with her tomorrow.

I'm sorry as well that you got more surgery on the horizon. That's always a scary prospect. Definitely one that will take time to process I imagine, especially with everything else you have going on.

The pancakes sound glorious!! I'm glad you went and got yourself a lil bday treat after - what's you go-to boost juice?

Any plans for tonight?

Yep stressful day @Snowie and my head hurts and feels so heavy and foggy. I’d really like bed.

im really trying to choke back tears feeling very emotional

no, gotta have a couple of other tests done and then they will call me. Oh feeling so overwhelmed with it all. Got this pending mh admission. I gotta have this other sleep study done and now all this.

im just on the couch. I got a bao bun kit for dinner. Mum doesn’t want any. I feel sick. And D won’t even eat it. Yay go me 😩

Can you go to bed early @Bow?

Not that I want to get rid of you, but I want you to do what is best for you.

Am happy to sit here with you hon

Maybe save it for another night and have an easy dinner.

Those bao kits are yummy. You got me onto them!

I think I need to stick to my plan @Jynx it will be less disruptive to mum and E. But in saying that it would be a whole lot easier to jump in the car and check in now. But can’t. It’s frustrating. But can’t be selfish. Need to think of others.

yeah still lots to process. Head is buzzing with information.

my fav boost juice is a mango magic. That’s what I had today.

I didn’t get round to replying to your post from last night sorry.

I spoke to my dietitian a few weeks ago about my pending admission. I really need to push and advocate for myself somehow to make sure I see a dietitian straight away. Put plans and supports in place from day one. Thing is though- that just never happens. There is always a 1-2 day delay in seeing a dietitian and in that time nurses can very badly put their foot in it and trigger the inevitable spiral.

Urgh it’s all a lot at the moment. Falling to pieces

@Bow all about balance hun - in a way, looking after yourself is not selfish when it means your family can hold onto knowing you're getting the care you need. But do what feels right of course 😉

Mango-tastic hehe love it! I only really like mango Weiss bars, not sure why but... shrug!

Do you think there's anything you could do to communicate your needs to the nurses? Like having some cue-cards with a bit of info on em, like 'flagging that I have an ED and prefer xyz' or 'it's easier for me if you ask me about food in this way' - something easily passed on without you needing to feel like you've gotta speak up to every nurse that comes a-calling?

What might be helpful in this moment to help you keep putting one foot in front of the other tonight hun? Sending hugs

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

Yeah I will probably go to bed early @Snowie think it will definitely be for the best.

Bed sounds comfy and safe @Bow

Just a shame we can't stay in there 24/7