My Mosaic

That’s the thing eh @Snowie it’s not that they aren’t good, it’s about suitability and it would be the same as my last psychologist, not a good fit and I would just be wasting everyone’s time. I just hope that if I end up saying no go for the male psychologist, that they don’t cross me off the list.

my SW not long left. She was here for ages. She agrees about the male psychologist. And she went on about the hospital admission and ECT. I don’t think they understand how hard it is though. She talked heaps about my pending sleep clinic appointment next week too, hoping that if I have a sleep study that it will help. Only time will tell.

despite taking something I still have a headache. I’m tired, so tired. And just over it.

I guess the trouble is @Bow we don't know unless we try. It's like you have to take that risk. A bit like process of elimination. I also acknowledge how difficult it is. If a psych doesn't work out, do I go back to the bottom of the list. If I say no, do I go back to the bottom. I then have to start all over again.

Totally understand not wanting a hospital admission. Even though my kids are older, it is still a hard decision. For you, having to rely on your mum to look after D, get her and pick her up from school, the shopping, washing, cooking. Then the whole explaining to them why you are going in. Trying to give them an age appropriate answer.

It's hard. It can affect us mentally and physically. Over it all, I get.

I get the voices @Bow

Maybe not the same as yours but they are there

Persistent, overbearing, loud,

They don't give you a break

They been a bit different @Snowie

different

So sorry hon @Bow

I know you need help, but is it time to start thinking about what is my next move?

Hey @Bow

Hey @tyme you good?

@Snowie I’m actually too scared to think too much about that. If i be honest with myself i know what I need, but it’s too hard and i just think about other options 😩

@Bow Last time I went as an inpatient, my psych made me write a list between pros and cons. It did help in seeing what was holding me back.

I was also pleased that I could make that decision for myself instead of just being admitted without my consent. I know you don't want that to happen.

Maybe i can try and work on one of them lists @Snowie at the moment though my si is rather high and it’s hard to shift my thoughts away from that. But i try