My Mosaic

Oh that’s cool @Ru-bee you always enjoyed painting? Like from school? I have… I still have a pile of my paintings from high school and college.

did you pick anything else up during covid? I did a lot of puzzles!

I’ve done these… got a few more to do.

Hey darlin! Oooh those are so cute @Bow! Lego-tastic hehe

Sounds like a rough night hun, but it's over now. We can only move forward. You were just surviving in the ways that felt available to you.

Much on for the evening?

@Jynx ?

@Bow ? Did you miss my post above? Or you having A Time?

Yes yes @Jynx can I sit next to you for a bit?

I'll pop the kettle on @Bow - hot choccie? Chai? Hehe

Don't worry we gotchu 😋

Maybe I could try have a hot chocolate @Jynx

it’s a b itch a vicious cycle stupid idiot today 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Bow It is indeed a cycle hun, which is why it is so hard to break out of!!

Plus, there is that tension between logic brain and emotional brain - logic brain may be able to see and understand that these behaviours are unhelpful or self-destructive... but emotional brain, not so much.

For emotional brain it's like... 'DANGER, DISTRESS, ALERT!' followed by 'Relief! Familiarity! Control!' and how do we tell emotional brain that finding those things from these habitual behaviours is 'wrong'? It doesn't understand moral concepts like right and wrong, it only understands safety and danger.

It's hard darlin, and you are not a failure for finding yourself in this familiar place. Your brain is just trying to protect you in the ways it knows how 💜

Mmm hot choccie coming up!! I'll fetch the marshmallows! 😋

Hmm that makes sense I think @Jynx

pain frustration shame anger from the middle of the night and the spiral all lead to big distress and than stupid again. Sigh.
don’t know how to stop it now. Feeling yuck again

@Bow our brains like patterns hun - so it may see the pattern and predict the 'most likely' outcome... but it's not written in stone, these patterns aren't inevitable.

What do you think you may be able to do a little differently tonight?