My Mosaic

I hear you @Bow. I’m listening to you. I just want you to know you have been heard.

2 weeks has been a great effort. You have done really well. But it’s hard. It’s hard to keep going. Keep doing what you’re doing doesn’t help. Is there some way to change it up a bit? Can someone help you come up with something different to keep you on the right

path and that works with what your ED is telling you?

‘It’s your choice’ is totally unhelpful. Those three words can cause a lot of damage. Well they do to me.

I’m thinking of you

Have no real desire to be in recovery @Jynx I don’t want it. I want other stuff so much more. Don’t want to make changes. So do I just cancel everything. Don’t wanna waste everyone’s time. Or my time.

there is this deep seated anger… angst…. So much argh… 🤬 🤬🤬 I’m fuming at myself. Hatred. Frustration. Desperation. I got 6 days til mum gets home and I think about what damage I can do in that time.

what’s the point anymore?

@Bow it's okay to be angry and frustrated hun. It's okay to hate the process of recovery - really and truly. It's a really friggin difficult journey. And I can hear that there's so much in your brain screaming at you to stop, to go back to the old habits, to quit the path of recovery and to self-destruct. But I know you have it in you to push back against that, to fight for even the smallest chance that things can be better, no matter how far away it feels. To know that the dream of having a lil cottage of comfort and safety to share with your D is not just a dream, it can be a goal, one worth striving for. But... maybe right now, it's more about getting through tonight. Looking at your safety plan, looking at the quotes and photos that inspire, and remembering all those who love you, and who will stick by you no matter what. I've got my boxing gloves on hun, I'm ready to punch those mean n nasty thoughts right in the keester 💪 cos even if you feel ready to give up the fight, I never will 💜

I don’t have that fight in me @Jynx its drawing me in, it’s sucking me closer and I can’t fight against it no more. I don’t even wanna. It’s too alluring. Getting ready. I can already hear them. Maybe I won’t tell them. SH SI bad

Hugs @Bow - and I will flick you an email too hun, keep an eye out. I gotchu 💜🫂

Thinking of you this morning @Bow. I’m hoping you made it through last night ok.

💕 @Bow

Thanks @Captain24 was a rough night. And I didn’t sleep much. Tired today.

And tomorrow is a hard day. Don’t wanna face it. Wanna disappear. But got a whole heap of appointments. Sigh 😩

Hi @Bow, been a while since I have been on forums!

Sorry to hear you had a rough night 😞

How are you travelling today? 💜

Yeah not ok @lavenderhaze not been a good day