Need to vent

Well done on getting the job interview tomorrow @BlueBay 👍

You will do just fine. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. If you get the job ... fantastic. It sounds ideal. If you dont get the job ... thats fine too. You tried, and you did very well to even get to the interview stage. Im sure many did not. So .. very well done ... whatever happens. I will definitely be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

I hope you are able to get a decent sleep tonight, which will help for tomorrows interview.

Wishing you the best.

Emelia 🌷

Ditto to @Emelia8 !

Congratulations for getting an interview!

Take a big deep breath!

BPDSurvivor

Hi @BlueBay

It seems you are having a stress attack - there is no need - so what can you do about it?

Ask yourself what the worst thing could be. Probably the answer is that you won't get the job - which is pretty standard - and you will be needing all your confidence to attend - am I right?

I know you feel you don't have confidence but you have more than you think you do - and screw that up and breathe. You do have another choice of course and that's not to attend - but I am sure you can and will and you have to breathe so keep doing that

You will either get the job or you won't and say they have five interviews for the job then there will be four people that won't so that really is not a reason to stress about this

And as for nightshift - obviously driving to the hospital and back at night is not something you feel safe about so re-read the application and see - if they say they want three days per week as you said because this doesn't mean nightshift.

All the best tomorrow - I will be thinking of you tomorrow - and tonight - so do your best and go for it

Dec

I want you to do your best - this would be perfect for you

@BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @MDT @Owlunar

thank you all for your replies.
I just need to say something about my doctor.
He's all for me to change my behaviour and thinking. He wants me to think positive every day snd write a daily journal of 3 positive things and then a to do list.
I don't agree with him. I don't understand how he thinks I'm going to be so positive with my journal. I don't like journals. I've told him but he keeps harping every time I see him to do this journal.

I know he wants me to chsnge. And I've told him it's not easy. All my life I've been a certain way eith certain thinkibg snd brhsviour. And now I have to chsnge - that's very difficult. I sometimes feel he doesn't really understand BPD.

I'm sorry. I sometimes don't know what to do snd I look for advice. Suppose I should do this alone. It's hard though. Making decisions whether right or wrong.

on 17th feb it's my dads birthday. If only my mum didn't interfere I would see my dad.
I hate her. She has ruined everything.

So I'm sitting at the hospital waiting for my interview

nervous but ok

thsnks to everyone for supporting me last night

I was in a mad panic state!!!

@Owlunar @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @MDT @Shaz51

Sigh - Hi @BlueBay

Your doctor wants you to

change my behaviour and thinking. He wants me to think positive every day snd write a daily journal of 3 positive things and then a to do list.

Actually I agree - I know you can't change your emotions - so hold that thought - because it's important that people understand and not everyone does. Okay

You are writing a brilliant journal here on-line - day by day you are writing your thoughts and battles - and I have read back a lot and found a great understanding of why life is so hard for you - and you know I do so please - don't give up on yourself - you are better at things than you think your are

And I do want you to change your behaviour and thinking and think positive thoughts - you only have to do this one day at a time - heavens - I think making New Year Resolutions is too hard - a whole year of being better at something - (groan - too hard) - even a week is a battle - but one day - even one morning - yes - it can be done.

And a to-do list with three things - hmm - he's not asking you to take on a swimming programme to get in a swim across the Bay or to go into Melbourne to climb on of the high towers to see the view - three things you can do - maybe you do already. What would be doable? - so your list might read

1. Vacuum the house

2. Ask D to pick up all the toys so this job will be easier - and A is old enough to help - ask her too

3. Prepare sandwiches early to have an easy healthy lunch - no salad handy - go up to the shops and get the makings

Actually there are 5 things there

One suggestion I have about life is that most of it is humdrum so mostly we suck it up and get on with it. I find cutting pumpkin into steamable chunks a bit of a stressor on my shoulder so I do enough for two nights and store it in a pyrex container with a lock seal and it keeps well - as does carrot and parnips - look around and make notes about what could make things easier

And as I write this I am thinking it's not really your chores that are hard for you - asking your family it. I get that - it is so hard to make the selectively deaf hear and it seems your family has this issue - and maybe you do too. So one day's list could be

1. Speak to D about her finding a place for herself and A

2. Show Huffnpuff how to manage the phone bill

3. Speak to your sons about your needing respect as you are their mother and this is your house

Yes - I can see this last three are harder so leave the hard parts until later but what your doctor is saying isn't hard - I think you are permantly overwhelmed and he is suggesting a way through

As am I. You can do this -

But - sigh - yes - you have a choice - you don't have to do any of this - but you are unhappy and we all care about that here - and we all care a whole lot

Do your best and do one day anyway - and use this journal - you have come such a long way since you started here - since I met you nearly 5 years ago now - you really have

Dec

Good to read @BlueBay

Do your best which is all anyone can do - and I hope you get the job -

Thinking of you

Dec

Good luck @BlueBay 😄

such a thoughtful , clear post. Thank you,

Wanda