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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay @Snowie ,

Hugs to you both.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hello and hugs @BlueBay , @tyme , @Snowie , @Former-Member , @oceangirl xxxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @Shaz51 😊

Tell me about your week 💛

How were Mr Shaz's appointments?

Have you been able to find some you time?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay ,

How are you today?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @tyme

im not bad although very tired

I stayed in bed most of day

just have no energy or motivation

two weeks before the move

I’m anxious that I won’t get it all done

panicking

I’m feeling really sad with the move

there’s a lot of guilt on my part because we had to sell

Struggling a bit with this

Having a barium swallow test tomorrow then a hair cut and colour

the unknown of a lot of things get to me easily

I don’t know

I think I’m depressed but should be happy and excited

how are you @tyme ?
xxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm a little tired today and waiting for this week to be over @BlueBay . I've got a lot of things on, so I just want to get them over and done with.

As for the fact that you 'SHOULD' be happy and exciting...maybe that's where the depression is coming from? That is, that you SHOULD be feeling one way (happy), but you are not, so therefore you are not 'right'? What do you think?

I'm only sharing this because I remember my work with my psychologist. He always challenged my thinking when I used the word 'SHOULD'. Because if I didn't live up to what I SHOULD be doing, I thought of myself as a failure and this is where the real failure came from.

Hope I haven't sent your head round and round.

Missing you. Hugs, tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Have you moved yet @tyme sorry I can’t remember

my psych pulls me up on the “shoulds”

I understand what you’re saying. My expectations of how I should feel and how I really feel are different. But I guess it’s how I’m feeling which I can’t deny.

one more day @tyme and the week will be over. I hope you can get some rest. Xxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Lately in my head i have been thinking - i wonder what heaven is like?

i am not in crisis but my mind is thinking of so many different things

havent been sleeping well for the past week

every night last week i was waking up at least 3 times, waking up exhausted and having to sleep during the day

and then i think of little A - and start crying

not long now to move monday week

packed a few more boxes in bathroom and clothes drawers today

i don't how i feel at the moment with everything;

saw my parents this morning; my mum very quiet and didn't say much and what she did say was so so negative and not nice towards me.

my dad - well he is always the same; happy to see us and always chatty.

it was a very awkward meeting this time, we only stayed an hour and left. there were a lot of times were no one talked and the stillness was making me anxious. i just wanted to get out of there.

at least i saw my dad.

@tyme @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Snowie @oceangirl @Emelia8 and others following that i have forgotten to add; sorry.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Ohhh hugs my @tyme ❤❤

Sitting with you my awesome sister @BlueBay , I am soo proud of you

I usually get up 4 times a night every night and lately have been waking up early in the mornings

Here for you xx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Super tumultuous time for you hey, not surprised you're not sleeping well! But I hope you can catch some sleep soon hey.

Maybe when you're thinking about heaven, you're also thinking about what is most meaningful to you. Like what would you hope to be there? What would the ideal look like?

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