Need to vent

Awesome mosaics @BlueBay!

Good on you for being so honest with your hubby. He is a gem. Although he doesn’t seem to say much, I think he understands more than he puts on.

You are so lucky to have him.

Thinking of you.

Awwww hugs my sister @BlueBay ❤❤❤

thanks everyone for your kind words of support

Today hubby and I went to see little A have her swimming lesson. she is so good now, her confidence is great. Then i had an appt with a job agency, not that i am looking for work but i have to go otherwise i won't get paid by centrelink. they know i am unable to work at the moment and my mental health issues. the job agency has now connected me with a disability service and i need to get my dr to fill out another form for centrelink. So many forms!!

hubby and i took jersey for a walk down the beach this afternoon, it was so nice and we had a coffee down there.

we are waiting now at home for a person to come and look at our lounge to take for free. i advertised it an hour ago and have had so many people interested. it's a good lounge but too big for our new place and we don't have a second lounge room. so we decided to give it to someone in need.

packed the laundry today, so many photo albums of years ago. our hallway is looking like a storage unit with so many boxes.

tomorrow i see my physio for my hip then prob pack a bit more or even sort out my clothes.

i have decided to put the mosiac pots away for now until i move and settle in. i think i am doing too much all at once. i can't concentrate properly on the pots at the moment.

but in the next few weeks i think i will take all my scrunchies and baby stuff i made last year to a market to try to sell. we will borrow a table from a friend and see if i sell any.

i feel okay today, hubby has his ultrasound tomorrow. i think he is okay, i was trying to explain to him what they do. this is the first time he has ever been to a dr and have an ultrasound.

Spoke to my younger son in UK yesterday. he has had one interview for a permanent job and is now waiting for second interview. i really hope he gets it as then he can look for accommodation. he is sharing at the moment with two aussies.

and i miss him 😞

anyway, i hope you are all doing ok today, thinking of you all. big hugs to you all

@Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @Snowie @hanami @Bow @FloatingFeather @Emelia8 @Eve7 @MDT @tyme @Former-Member

Hi @BlueBay

You have done so much…WOW!!!

That’s so kind to be giving your lounge away. I hope you can get a lovely one to replace it,

When do you move?

💙💙💙

A horrible rainy day today and the next few days. Hope everyone is okay and safe with these floods around Australia.

We had a guy pick up our lounge this morning, so one empty room!!

It's interesting how our moods change with the weather. I did manage a quick 20 min walk before the rain set in. But my mood today is down, my emotions are heightened.

Hubby is having his ultrasound this afternoon so that is on my mind too.

bit of a dreary day. would love to go back to bed but hubby is here so i can't.

@MDT @Eve7 @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @Snowie @Emelia8 @tyme @Former-Member

@BlueBay

You're enough. Glad you're spending time with little A and hubby. He understands more than he lets on. And I wanted to say you're more capable than you realize. My advice is that don't wait until you think you're ready to go back to work. You probably don't know but I started working about 3 and half months ago. And it is turning my life around. You can do the same- I really believe in you BB. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world

Hope hubby gets good news this afternoon. Talk to you soon.

Hey lovely @oceangirl i am so happy for you that you are working. That's fantastic.

For me, i don't know if i will ever go back to work. At the moment i am in a cocoon of me at home; i am in a shell and too scared to look for work, let alone go to work. The fear is huge, my self esteem is below zero with confidence. I started doing some mosaic pots and now want to throw them out the bin. They look ridiculous, they're not good enough to sell. So for now i am not doing any craft except my crochet blanket for little A doll. That's all i can do right now, as well as packing. you should see my house; it's like a bomb has hit it with boxes packed and stacked everywhere. now i feel overwhelmed by all this. i just have to get through the next 5 weeks, then move and slowly unpack.

hubby has gone back to work today, he finds out his results either today or tomorrow when his dr will call.

it is pouring down here, so much rain forecast for today. so inside day with pj's and a lazy bed day i think.

i need to shred some more of my old journals but am too scared to even do that in fear of seeing what i wrote. i need to not read them, just shred.

anyway, i am going now to make a coffee.

hope you all have a nice day.

@MDT @Eve7 @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @hanami @tyme and others reading

Hi @oceangirl and @BlueBay

That's awesome that you are working @oceangirl. What's even better is that it's turned your life around. Whenever I haven't been working in my life (usually while on maternity leave) my anxiety issues are worse. You spend so much time in your own head. Work takes you out of that. You think about work, the people you work with etc. And you're right about not waiting until you're ready. Sometimes in life you just have to push through horrible feelings. You can't get 'over' them, you have to go 'through'. It will be hard but worth it.

I feel that you are being so hard on yourself @BlueBay . Your mosaics are great. And even if you don't think so, with practice they will be even better. People don't become great at things on the first go. I hope the day is kind to you and you stay nice and dry ❤️

Trying to shred my old journals

its hard

reading some pages

had left me to stab it

been crying for a while

stopped shredding now

in bed watching tv

@hanami @oceangirl @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Snowie