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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay

Sorry to hear you've had a rough time going through your old journals, but good on you for spotting when it became overwhelming and taking some time for yourself by watching TV. I'm sitting with you and sending you my support 💙 🐝

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Soo proud of you my sister @BlueBay

Bit by bit and I am sitting with you xxx

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay,

Hope you are doing okay - going through your old journals sounds like it was hard for you. Glad you took a break from it and watched some TV. I love to watch some TV when I'm feeling overwhelmed - it's usually a good distraction.

I was reading a few of your other posts just now. It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment. It must of been lovely seeing little A at her swimming lesson the other day - I bet she loved having you and your husband there too! Have you heard about how your son got on with his job interview? Wishing him all the best that he gets it. Also hope all goes well with your hubby's results.

Take care of yourself - sending hugs,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @FloatingFeather @Shaz51 @Former-Member @hanami @oceangirl @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @Snowie @Eve7 @MDT and others

just had a shower. it feels good.

i ended up shredding all the journals!! 12 books.

sent a msg this morning (our time) to my son to wish him well for his 2nd interview. he replied saying he will let me know today (tonight our time)

i and crossing fingers and everything that he will get this job. it's data analyst and it's permanent.

i am feeling a bit strange, weird, out of place - maybe it's because of those journals.

anyway they're gone now; i didn't really want to take them to the new house. it felt like i was taking all my old crap with me.

not sure if i should worry or not (i prob will!!) but my left foot keeps tingling and the same as my left hand. and my vision is not 100%. I know my left hand was tested for carpal tunnel a few years ago and it was moderate. i am not sure.

hope everyone is doing okay today and if you're in the flood zones pls stay safe. it's pretty awful in country victoria and melbourne.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Well done @BlueBay on all that shredding. That part of your life is over and it’s time to create the next chapter.

💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Soo proud of you my sister @BlueBay

A new place and a new chapter

Hugs @Eve7

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

More shredding

more strong emotions

found a letter I wrote to my mum

Now I want to sh


😢

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay ❤️

I'm sorry to hear how tough today is and how reading that letter has brought up urges to self harm 😔 Sitting with you, right next to you 🌻

Please remember to reach out to a crisis service if you need support in keeping yourself safe today.

Lifeline

13 11 14

Webchat

SCBS

1300 659 467

Webchat

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @Former-Member

how can she (my mum)say I’m silly and stupid

how she say I’ve wrecked the family

and betrayed her

I’m angry right now

I’m hurting

My head is telling me to end it all

that I’m the bad one for disclosing the abuse

i should have kept quiet

im laying on my bed

I need time away from shredding

I wish I could disappear

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Please reach out to your supports and/or the crisis services @Former-Member has listed above. You don't have to go through this alone.

4,371 - 4,380 of 4,898