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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Morning @BlueBay

Sorry you had a rough night. Dreams can really rattle you. Try to remember it was just a dream nothing more. I do understand that you worry a lot about your dad though. I hope you can have a nice day today. Do you have anything nice planned?

Hugs

Hanami

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@hanami @Emelia8 @MDT @Shaz51

what if it's a premonition that something bad will happen.

if my dad gets sick and dies and i can't see him i will be forever angry with my mum

i walked this morning before the rain and told hubby about my dream and started crying

it was so real, so vivid, so believeable

so now two nights of horrible dreams including my parents, first my mum then my dad

i am trying to stay busy with packing the laundry today but i am so scared that this dream will come true; or that something terrible is going to happen. she (mum) wouldn't even let me go into the hospital to hold dad's hand (in my dream).

i have to stop thinking about it otherwise it will take over

it's now pouring with rain, i am glad i managed a quick walk down the beach earlier

now it's time to pack the laundry - alcohol bottles, beach towels and photo albums (this could be a bad day with the alcohol and photo albums)

even though i have NO PHOTOS of my childhood not even one. i can't believe i don't have any and mum won't give me some.

ok, i need to stop thinking; if only it is that easy.

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You're welcome my beautiful sister @BlueBay

Sorry to hear you had a rough night. I hope you were able to settle and did something for you. Do you have much planned for the weekend?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

I hope today is better for you hon.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @Snowie @oceangirl @hanami @Emelia8 @MDT @Shaz51 @Eve7 and others following

This weekend has been nice. Yesterday did a beach walk in the morning, then hubby and I went to look for a nice rug for our new house. Saw some really nice ones that are bright and splash of colour which is what i like. Then last night hubby, I and our daughter and partner went out for dinner and movie. It was a really nice night, just the four of us no kids.

This morning, another beach walk and a trip to bunnings. I have started making mosaic on pot plants (i will show when finished) and i made three yesterday. But needed more tiles and glue. Coffee at the beach and now home about to grout the pots.

i will show you all later. hope you have a nice Sunday. xxxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Oh I’m keen to see your mosaic pots @BlueBay ! Please tag me when you post a pic of them

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay hoping today has gone well for you 💗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

That's so nice! I can't wait to see your mosaic. I have a friend who does mosaic and finds it so therapeutic.

Wishing you a wonderful day!

❤️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

 

hi everyone

@hanami @Snowie @Bow @oceangirl @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Eve7 @tyme @BPDSurvivor

and others following

I did mosaic on these two plastic pots. They’re not perfect needs a bit more grout on the top. These are upside down drying.

i saw my dr and psychiatrist today. Both mentioned that my nightmares with my parents are both ptsd. My psych has given me a script for a medication that will help with nightmares and ptsd.

i told her that hubby took today off as he is stressed about having an ultrasound on Wednesday for his prostate. I’m trying to calm him but then I over think of the worst.
it’s doing my head in. I’m e haunted not sleeping properly. I said to my psych thst maybe he doesn’t love me anymore and I feel so guilty because of our non existence of intimacy.
again my psych explained it’s related to my ptsd.

my dr told me also that I’m highly stressed and my adrenal glands are not good.

i walked with hubby down the beach and asked him if I’m to blame for our lack of intimacy and if he’s not happy with me. He told me he loves me and it doesn’t matter if there’s no intimacy atm. He is here to support snd love me. I cried because I told him I feel guilty and he said to stop blaming myself.

im feeling very tired today. We had a meeting with the bank reg our loan. All done now do hubby was happy with that too.

im catastrophising a lot but I’m also scared. What if hubby has cancer. That’s my biggest fear. My dr reassured me that if he thought it was serious he would have sent hubby to the specialist or hospital.
Im very scared and worried.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay know doubt your are worried and stressed about your husband. I think that is a perfectly normal reaction. It shows just how much you care and love him.

I am glad you spoke to your supports today hon. It is hard sometimes opening up to them and telling them exactly what is happening. I have my psych tomorrow and scared I won't be able to get my words out.

Also glad to hear how much hubby cares for you and loves you. He certainly is a good support for you and I am glad you have each other.

Well done on your mosaic's hon, you should be really proud of how much you have accomplished today. Big hugs 💕

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