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Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I can’t move

frozen with depression and anxiety

why can’t I just be happy

is it me that won’t allow it?

but why?

just want to go to bed and hide under my doona

it’s raining so much to do

but I have zero motivation

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

spent the afternoon asleep in bed

my body is telling me i need to stop and rest including my racing mind

i am not feeling too well

my blood pressure is low

hope everyone is having a nice day

cold and rain here tonight

@BPDSurvivor @tyme @Emelia8 @Snowie @Shaz51 and others i have missed

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hello and hugs my sister @BlueBay ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi, my sister @BlueBay and my sister @Shaz51

How are you both?

I miss talking to you both

Hope to catch up for a cup of tea/coffee together soon

Sending you lots of love and hugs

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay , How are you?

I’m catching up with what’s happening. Please don’t let your mum continue to rule your emotions.

Radical acceptance teaches us to accept the things we cannot change. You’ve tried to change her, it hasn’t worked. Yet she still has control over how you feel. It’s not fair on you. You deserve to live life free of the bondage of someone else.

Let that hurt fly free so that you can also be freed.

hugs, BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 💗💗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @BPDSurvivor
My issue with my mum or her lack of love empathy and support to me is so hard to let go.
part of me knows that she is the way she is I can’t change her. But there’s this part that is hurting me do much. I am struggling so much to let go.

i don’t know how.

Saw my psych today. I was a mess. Crying dissociating feeling angry. Talked about snell of smoke is triggering me to my brother who abused me as he was a smoker at young age. She suggested to use a candle or perfume.
also told her I want to sh but again she suggested a rubber band or punch a pillow. I told her I’ve been thinking of pillow but am too scared I can’t stop once I start. The last time I tried to release my anger I ended up talking to lifeline e who called an ambulance and took me to hospital. It was terrible. I was trying to release my anger towards my mum but it didn’t work.
my psych as suggested I take a med tonight to help me calm and sleep.

hi @Shaz51 @oceangirl @Snowie @Emelia8 hope you are all ok.
@oceangirl hope you’re ok. Sorry I haven’t spoken to you for a little while.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds like a full on session today @BlueBay

Please give yourself some time tonight. Perhaps do something nice for yourself.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

I'm good thanks. Sorry to hear of your struggles. I hope you find more peace in your life. Focus on what brings you comfort.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

It’s okay @BlueBay - you are allowed to feel hurt and angry. And sometimes, PRN medication helps to wind down when things are really tough. I have been given PRNs, but I rarely rarely use them now.

I just hope you’ll find that one day you’ll be recovered enough to live life as you deserve it. To allow yourself to love life. To allow yourself to feel love and satisfaction. To allow yourself to move beyond the hurt you have experienced. This is not to say that these hurts have not happened, but to allow yourself to move on to live life.

I am hopeful and confident that that day will come.

Lots of hugs, BPDSurvivor

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