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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Had to call the CAT team this afternoon

so so overwhelmed anxious

can’t do this - tapering off my meds

need to go back on the full dose

have emailed my psych trice today in desperation

I told the CAT team I’m thoughts of self harm and suicide

im angry

My senses are so heightened

@BPDSurvivor @oceangirl @Snowie @Shaz51 @tyme @Emelia8 and others reading

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Heya @BlueBay I'm so sorry that you're struggling with changes to meds and you're feeling heightened. I know that a lot of us (me included) have gone through some tapering off at some point. My heart goes out to you because I know how hard it is ❤️

It sounds like you made a really great decision to call the CATT team when you're feeling like this. What did they say?

What else will you do from your safe plan to keep safe for now?

I know that these feelings are difficult, and we want to support you on your journey.

But if you are not sure that you can stay safe tonight, there are other people and services you need to reach out for support so you get the right help. I thought I'd post some options

  • Lifeline 13 11 14

  • Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659467

  • beyondblue Support Service 1300 22 46 36

❤️ TuxedoCat

PS. Have you read this thread on posting safely about suicide recently? I re-read it often to remind myself. If you're up to it, you could have a read of it.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

The CATT team said he would call in a few hours to check on me @Former-Member

but hasn’t called

I’m exhausted

might go to bed

try to rest my over thinking head

sorry about talking about sh and suicide.

it’s ok I’m safe

just another sharp electric pain in my head

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay You don't need to apologise for posting about SI and SH. When you do post about it, we just worry a lot. So it's important to also say if you're safe (or not) ❤️

I've had those brain zaps before. They hurt a lot. They will pass when your brain adjusts to the new dose ❤️ I don't know how long they will last, but I know they'll stop soon.

And I'm sure that if the CAT team said they will call, that they will call you soon to check in. But a sleep in the mean time sounds like a good idea ❤️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Take care @BlueBay - I’m listening. I’m wish I could make it stop hurting. Here’s a squeezy hug.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay hi my sister

one step at a time and do something for yourself perhaps a beach walk or something that grounds you. I love to swim and to get outside (vitamin D).

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Another day

another call to the CATT team

they didn’t call last night

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

heya @BlueBay, I'm so proud of you for making the decision to call the CAT team. It helps us know that you're making the decision to keep safe, and that can be really hard ❤️

Are there other things you might do today to get you through until these feelings pass?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hey @Former-Member thank you for your support.

Today is my beautiful little A 5th birthday (my granddaughter)

We are going to my daughters house for dinner tonight and give little A her presents. So tonight i will be ok. I can't believe where the time has gone, it was 5 yrs ago i wrote on here that i became a first time nonna. now she is 5. and then it made me think that i have been on the forum for 5-6 yrs and nothing much has changed. mental helath is so horrible, it is exhausting, debilating and damn hard to see the future been better.

Tomorrow and Friday is another story. home alone on these days cause a lot of anxiety, stress and lots of negative emotions. but the CATT team suggested if need be to call them on those days. As they know my pyschiatrist they are going to touch base with her today if possible. It's hard this week been a short week.

i have to keep swimming through these horrible high waves. trouble is i keep getting bashed into them and struggle to get back up.

The CATT team did say today that they were going to call me last night but it was 10pm and decided not to because they thought i would be asleep. which i was after taking a medication to help me sleep.

hi @oceangirl @BPDSurvivor @Snowie @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @MDT @Bow @utopia @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @hanami @tyme @FloatingFeather @Appleblossom @Eve7 and others i have missed

I can't believe little A is 5. Big girl off to school next year. It just seems like the other day that I wrote on here to tell you all the good news of becoming a nonna.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

5 already!!!! Wow! Time has flown. How special that you have been such an important part of her life @BlueBay - she's so lucky to have you as her Nonna.

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