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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi my friends @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @Snowie @Emelia8 @hanami @FloatingFeather and others following

I’m safe. I’ve had a terrible time looking for a house, trying to pack. The emotions that come with it.
but last night we put an offer on a unit and it was accepted!! A 3bd unit bright and airy, fairly new 8 months old. Grass backyard with a deck and veranda. It’s in a group of 10 but they’re not stuck together or pokey. Lots of room between them.
the funny thing is our old neighbour behind us lives there.

it’s still down our way actually 10 mins but another town. Lots of beach walking tracks and We know the area.

@BPDSurvivor I’ve been smelling cigarettes smoke and it’s triggering my abuse. My brother was a smoker and that’s what I could smell when he was near me. I don’t know why I’m smelling it now.

my emotions are everywhere at the moment. From not caring about life yesterday to picturing us in this new unit last night.

Thank you to all for your support hugs and care. I love this forum so much.
Xxxxxxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Good news @BlueBay about the unit. ♥😊🎉

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

One step forward my sister @BlueBay 💗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

So happy to hear the news about the unit @BlueBay I hope it all works out for you and it can help with the stress of finding somewhere to live.

Look after yourself hon 💗💗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

What have I done to deserve shit treatment from my mum

cold

hard

distant

doesn't care about me or my family

why does she treat me like she does

I must be the horrible daughter because the way she treats me

😢😢

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

None of that is true @BlueBay .

Your Mum is the one with the problem, not you. ♥♥

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Emelia8

she makes me feel so horrible.
i hadn’t called my parents for 2 weeks. We’ve been busy looking at places every weekend. And also she (mum) doesn’t call me anymore. She stopped calling months ago.

when I rang before her first comment was “have you been on holidays “. That was her smart comment because I haven’t called. I replied no what are you talking about we’ve been busy looking for a place. She then says “we’ll did you find one” I replied yes.
no congratulations, no comment.
just I better go and get the clothes off the line. !!!

i feel hated

kicked in the guts

her sarcastic comments

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

The feeling I have tonight

is never ending pain

of how a mother can be

so cruel and horrible to her daughter

the daughter who constantly tries to be accepted validated and loved

the daughter who was born 10 weeks prem and struggled to survive

i don’t know what else to do

to make you love me

see me for who I am

it hurts soooo much

the things you say to me

the invalidation I get

that’s not nice to be on my end

abd receive this horrible treatment

How can you ? Why?

i find it very difficult to accept you as you are

your cold hard behaviour I don’t get

I want to yell at you

I want to scream punch kick and hit

I want to get back at you like you do to me with your words

words are powerful

yet you have no idea how much you’ve hurt me

Or do you know what you’re doing to me

I feel like a little girl lost on a bridge

and you are on the other side

you don’t help me

instead you walk away

a child needs their mum

a child craves the love from their mum

just a hug a cuddle a kiss

a sorry …….

even that you couldn’t do 😢😢😢

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I hear you @BlueBay . I'm listening. I'm holding your hand.

As much as I wish the past was different, I guess it's not. When you feel up for it, are there things you can do to help you create a brighter future for yourself? You've got so much in you.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay , congrats on getting the unit! At least that’s one less thing to think about! And it sounds like it’s the location where you wanted it.

How exciting!

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