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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Heya @BlueBay

Thank you for sharing these struggles, I know you're not alone in them at all. It's not fair that it's happening this way. Me and all the forums members are sitting with you ❤️

When these things pile up, it can be hard to see the good things. What are some of the important things in your life from your safety plan? Or some things you can do to distract yourself?

Before I go any further, I just wanted to share these numbers just in case you need them for some crisis support

  • Lifeline: 13 11 14
  • Suicide callback: 1300 659 467

I've also been going through the Social Spaces to distract myself too. Are there any you haven't been to yet? Click here for the thread Looking for a space to connect with others? Find a list of discussions in 'Social Spaces' here

Sitting with you ❤️

TuxedoCat

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thank you @Former-Member

at the moment I’m in “overdrive” mentally trying to work things out

but trouble is - I can’t

I can’t see anything good come out if this right now

the uncertainty is difficult to sit with

I get so scared that we’ll lose our house unless we sell soon

I never thought that at my age I would be struggling with life so much

I’m trying to knit while tv is on

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Knitting while watching tv is something I also do to keep my mind busy. Something we have in common! ❤️ What are you knitting at the moment? You could share it in Craft Corner?

I'm currently knitting a jumper but the yarn is so fine and the needles are only size 4. It's taking a long time and I keep making mistakes. Maybe next time I'll knit something with bigger needles! 🧶

Life certainly throws a lot at us. But we're here with you ❤️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @Former-Member

I’m knitting myself a scarf. Very pale cream. I like to knit with big needles and chunky wool so it grows quickly. Always knitting for others but never me.

i knitted a beautiful fluffy grey scarf for my psych and gave it to her a few weeks ago. She loved it.

once finished I’ll post a picture on craft section.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I would LOVE to see a picture when you're ready to share it @BlueBay, it sounds so beautiful. And it's such a special way to show your appreciation for other people. ❤️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @Former-Member @hanami @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Snowie @Eve7 and others following


I’m not good today. Went to first outpatient hospital group therapy. It’s dbt which is just what I need.
after group I bumped into yoga teacher and broke down. I couldn’t stop crying.
so much stress

so much pressure

not sleeping etc etc etc

she ended up seeing the psychologist who took group therapy snd she spoke to me. She also filled out paperwork that she keeps reg my diagnosis, my day to day etc.

im feeling really really horrible overwhelmed and emotional as well as “I can’t be bothered with life anymore” thought.
laying on my bed staring at space is all I can do.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I want the world to shut

I need calm in my head

but it’s not going to happen

i want to shut the world out of my mind

im desperate for sleep

I don’t know what I want

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

A hug?

Big hug to you @BlueBay .

Sometimes things can be so overwhelming that all you know is that you don’t know. I’ve experienced that many times. It’s hard to sit in this “not-knowing” stance sometimes, but maybe that’s all your body needs for now. It’s okay not to know.

Sitting with you at this time

tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay

Hi there , I want to say my very dear friend, but do I have the right? I’ve been following your thread for a few years now while my own unraveling occurred. You helped me loose the stigma of a MH diagnosis, you helped me so much.

Our early learning sets a mould we have to break. In between the panic and the heartache, love yourself. We do. We love you. You’re a bright star on a dark night.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay sending lots of love and hugs your way hon, hoping things get even a little better for you.

Here with you 💜💜

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