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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Eve7 🙏 xxx

today we had my daughters 30th birthday lunch party. My little 4 yr old granddaughter A was so excited to have a party. She was entertaining everyone with her dancing and singing.
nice family and close friends enjoying the day.
but I’m exhausted not having an afternoon sleep so early night tonight.

im seeing my psych in the morning. Then away Tuesday-Friday with hubby. The weather will be hot so I’ll be by the pool with my book.
@Shaz51 @Owlunar @Former-Member @Jynx @Emelia8 @MDT @oceangirl and others

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thats the way 🙂
@BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Enjoy your time away @BlueBay I think it’s just what you need right now.

💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Enjoy your time away @BlueBay 😀:ok_hand:🥰

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Have a wonderful time away @BlueBay . A bit of a break sounds just what you need right now. Take care my friend.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi my friends @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Eve7 @MDT @Owlunar @BPDSurvivor @oceangirl and others following on -

well another psych session this morning at 9am. it was a very productive, emotional session. we talked about -

change of meds in the coming weeks

admission to hospital while changing meds

finances

my ptsd childhood abuse

my intimacy issues with hubby

my MIL living with us for 20 years and the effect it had on us

communication with hubby

my eating disorder and seeing a dietitian

there were a lot of tears, dissociation and tisuses!!! i told her about my lack of intimacy and she explained it is because of the ptsd and childhood abuse. i am on high alert all the time and even when hubby puts his arm around me or touches my back i feel very jumpy. this is a reaction to the ptsd.

communication with hubby - while away this week i am going to try to talk to him about my issues with ptsd and intimacy and explain that i do care for him and hope he feels the same way even though our intimacy is non existent.

meds - i am to take the same ones for now then on Monday i see her again and she will let me know about new meds and which psych will admit me. As she is not an admitting psych at this hospital i need to be under someone else. it could be possibly be a previous psych i had years ago, which is ok by me.

I told my psych that 'in my head i think ' that seeing a dietitian will take away my control of my eating disorder, what i am eating. because they will give me a plan of what to eat. so by losing control on this i will have nothing, i will be nothing. my psych understood where i was coming from with this and said she strongly agrees that i am not ready for that right now. for now she wants me to concentrate on getting my mood to a more stable level. she said if i was to see a dietitian now it would create more stress, confusion and not good for me atm.

we also talked about self harming to 'get revenge on my parents'. we talked about the hows and whys and she asked me if i did do something would my parents really validate me then? to which i said 'no i don't think so'. and then i broke down and sobbed.

so much came out today and it was good in a way, because she didn't know about the intimacy stuff or my MIL living with us for such a long time and the impact it had on us. she was writing lots of stuff today.

she mentioned she will now write to my GP and keep him up to date and recommend for me to not see a dietitian just yet.

she told me to relax while away, and if at any point i feel overwhelmed, stressed to email her or if worse call the CAT team.

i have an amazing, caring, genuine psych. a truly amazing person.

seeing her now Monday next week after our holiday.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Well done @BlueBay it all sounds very productive and empowering. 👍💞

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

That was some ground you covered this morning @BlueBay Great achievement!

Have a relaxing 😎 holiday 🤗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Eve7 @Emelia8 🙏♥️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay

Enjoy your time away

Its really good that you have a supportive Dr

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