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Need to vent

BlueBaySenior Contributor16 Oct 2020, 12:15 pm AEDT

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

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In response to: Need to vent

BlueBaySenior Contributor06 Jan 2022, 6:35 pm AEDT

Re: Need to vent

I’m sorry that you’re father figures have all passed away @Shaz51

I feel so ashamed to ask our sons yet again for money

we’ll have to sell

I’m panicking and getting too overwhelmed with this thought

you my sis are so strong to be going through everything

Sending you loving hug lovely @Shaz51 ♥️
@Jynx how do I get my mind to “shut off” from my mum because it’s hard.
@Shaz51 any ideas??

In response to: Need to vent

BlueBaySenior Contributor06 Jan 2022, 6:38 pm AEDT

Re: Need to vent

Thank you @Jynx 🙏

I just struggle with this so much

I think I can empathise with others in similar situations but I can’t to myself (does that make sense??)

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Shaz51Senior Contributor06 Jan 2022, 6:50 pm AEDT

Re: Need to vent

Thank you @BlueBay , @Jynx ❤🧡❤

Yes that does makes sense my sister

In response to: Re: Need to vent

JynxModerator06 Jan 2022, 6:51 pm AEDT

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay wrote:

Thank you @Jynx 🙏

I just struggle with this so much

I think I can empathise with others in similar situations but I can’t to myself (does that make sense??)

This is very common actually! I reckon it's a myriad of influences that make this happen - the way we are socialised to be super duper individualised (the notion that a 'real' adult can function 100% on their own despite the fact that humans literally evolved to be social) the fact that none of us are really taught how to actually love ourselves... Plus for those of us with childhood trauma that resulted in an overactive fawn response (people pleasing as a necessary part of survival) all of it combines into finding it so easy to give to others, but sometimes next to impossible to recognise and honour our own needs. It's rough!

Hmm...shutting off IS hard. Compartmentalisation is one way. Put the thoughts into a box and tuck it away in a corner of the mind to be addressed later. It's a skill that can be practised - every time you catch yourself bogged down in thoughts you don't want to be, you say (gently, and without harsh judgement) "Woops! I'm thinking about it again. I am dealing with that at another time. Let me refocus on [pleasant thoughts, what you're doing, something creative, something silly, etc.]." It took me a while to learn this skill but it's a valuable one.

Another way is through journalling - by writing things out, it helps get some of it out of my brain. Literally just emotionally dump all the thoughts out onto a page, whatever comes to mind doesn't matter how its worded or if it even makes sense or has any logic to it at all! Then if you do need to revisit it later you can, but it also helps me when I've got the same sentence or thought process swirling around repeatedly.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

BlueBaySenior Contributor06 Jan 2022, 7:19 pm AEDT

Re: Need to vent

Thank you so much @Jynx for your support snd advice snd care xxx

im glad we csn support each other @Shaz51

xxxx

thanks for your support too @Emelia8 xxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Shaz51Senior Contributor06 Jan 2022, 7:45 pm AEDT

Re: Need to vent

Thank you @BlueBay , @Jynx for your support

And hugs @Emelia8 ❤❤

Soo glad we can support each other too my sister xoxo @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

BlueBaySenior Contributor06 Jan 2022, 9:03 pm AEDT

Re: Need to vent

I’ve just had a thought - I’m going to write down my “rehearsed argument with my mum” in a journal. I need to get it out if my head. Write everything down. Not sure if it will help. But I may read it to my psych next week.
@Jynx @Shaz51 @Emelia8 What do you think?

ive realised its hard being sick and hubby home too on leave. The house is never cleaned the same.
I think I’m one for routine.

In response to: Need to vent

Unknown userMember07 Jan 2022, 2:36 am AEDT

Re: Need to vent

In my mind, @BlueBay, these forums provide a loving "family" and friendship group even though it's virtual, so yes you're worthy of love, dear! This is so sad what has happened to you! I know what it's like to have a bad relationship with parents, I'm completely estranged from mine. I hope you're getting better!

In response to: Need to vent

Unknown userMember07 Jan 2022, 2:47 am AEDT

Re: Need to vent

@Former-Member and @BlueBay I think accepting feelings rather than pushing them way is good, it's less effort and they eventually go away for a while. I like phone counselling, I can't get the online webchat to work so I just use the phone.

In response to: Need to vent

Unknown userMember07 Jan 2022, 2:54 am AEDT

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay do you have any distractions whenever you get overwhelmed by your bad relationship with your mother, as well as other thoughts and feelings? Stuff like reading, keeping your eyes closed while quieting your mind, physical exercises where you focus on different parts of your body until you're able to relax, etc? Maybe they'll help you, possibly. It's good that your daughter and granddaughter are a loving family support network! I hope your health and your mental wel-being improves. Stay safe!

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