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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

last night i was rehersing in my head an argument with ??? I do that too my sister @BlueBay an end up with a headache when I wake up the next day xoxo

so proud of your boys being able to help you xxx

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I just want a normal mum @Shaz51

to be honest I get so jealous with my friends who are so close to their mums

@Jynx @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay, sorry to hear you're continuing to have tensions and conflict with your mum. I wish you could have a normal mum too! I think it's normal to be jealous. Jealousy is often painted in such a negative light in our society, but it is usually a secondary emotion that results from some deeper feeling. I imagine for you, what is underneath is a deep pain and a sorrowful longing, for that which you crave but have never been able to get - someone who is kind, caring, supportive, on your side, and has your back. I don't think you have to be hard on yourself for feeling jealousy about it hon.

I am sweeping you up into a big virtual hug 💜

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay my sister ,

I get so jealous with my friends who are so close to their Dads

and do you know my sister you have turned this around to having a loving relationship with your daughter and grand daughter for being a great mum and Noona

@Jynx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You’re spot on @Jynx so so true

thanks for your hug greatly accepted ♥️

I never ever got what a child needed snd wanted from my mum

Never - no kisses, hugs, story time

growing up I was never allowed to have friends

I was a loner

so so sad 😥😥😥

And it still affects me

my dad was the same

I feel so unloved

is it worth living if you’re unloved

😥😥

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I know I sm close to my daughter and little A but there’s something about a daughter snd a mum

im sorry you feel the same about dads @Shaz51 xxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I agree 100% with @Shaz51 - you are literally breaking the trauma cycle by being an amazing mum to your own daughter and granddaughter. That is truly powerful and remarkable. I'm not just saying that, that is my honest opinion.

First off - yes it is still worth living, because of the love that you can give to yourself. To me, love is the only thing in this universe that is truly infinite, which means you can give it to family, friends, the world, nature, to all sorts of things, and never run out. Giving love to yourself is really hard if you never had the feeling of being loved growing up. But it is possible!

Secondly, I believe you are more loved than you are allowing yourself to believe. You are a beloved member of this community, and your little ones would love you dearly for all you give. I wonder if you could take a moment, just a little one, to let yourself believe it. Even if that moment doesn't last, it is still a moment in time where you let yourself feel the love that you have flowing towards you from so many different places. You are 100% definitely loved.

💜💖

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Jynx

ok maybe i am too harsh on myself because maybe i believe that i don't deserve to be loved

or because i never had the love a child so needs and wants that i feel it doesn't exist

but i know i love my own children so much and my granddaughter little A - OMG i love her so so much

we are so so close. i give her so much unconditional love, no matter what.

yes you and @Shaz51 are right - i have broken the trauma cycle

it's just that it still hurts

i said that i would never ever be like my mum when my kids grow up and have their own children

and yes i have changed, i am not like my mum at all

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I am soo proud of you my sister for breaking the cycle @BlueBay

Of course it still hurts , still hurts me

And each time I looked to my real uncles to be my father figure, through my life and I have lived with a couple of uncles and their family, they passed away

And then I met my father in law which he thought I would be wonderful for Mr shaz and then he passed away @Jynx , @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Perhaps the very fact that you believe you don't deserve to be loved is exactly why you do. Aww I love hearing about your love for you little ones, it is truly heart warming 💗

@Shaz51 you as well, you deserve so much love, that is such immense pain to endure.

Look at you both, out here enduring that pain but also allowing it to be something that spurs you into supporting one another. That's so beautiful.

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