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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay if that is what works in the moment and has the desired outcome, then do that! Maybe it's not your ultimate goal, which might be being able to say "I have to go Mum, I have become overwhelmed and need to self-soothe" or even simply "I have to go now Mum, bye", but it is still a step towards that! You are allowed to find what works to help you build towards more firm boundaries later - it's all a matter of practice.

It is okay to be scared because you know what? This shit is scary! Bravery isn't about not feeling fear - bravery is about feeling the fear, but then doing the thing anyway. I believe in you!

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hello @Jynx , @BlueBay , @BPDSurvivor

I can't believe it but I have just woke up , wow I must of needed a sleep

I have always been a people pleaser also , find it very hard to say no , amm learning

Mum is angry with me now -- not sure why

Cooking chicken kabebs on rice for dinner And had my injection also

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Shaz51 if your mum is angry with you then that is hers and not yours. I hope you are able to get space from it.

Sounds like the sleep was much needed! Sometimes unplanned naps are the best kind hehe

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

It's so hard with dementia @Shaz51

they can get sngry so quickly and for no real reason

glad you had a nap you obviously needed it

hugs my sis

Xxoo.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I feel that when mums on the phone I go back to been a child. A naive vulnerable child. It's her. I always feel inferior to her.
I haven't phoned her this week
call her on Saturday

my older son just filled the car with petrol for me. $100 worth. I've got two amazing boys. Abd he booked our mini holiday today too. That's our Christmas present from him.

@Jynx @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I think it was Freud who coined the term 'regression' - it's a defense mechanism that involves retreating to an earlier developmental stage a.k.a. feeling like you're a child again. Here's an article that talks about it, but it is more geared towards general population rather than folks who have experienced childhood trauma. Might still be worth a read:

"Why you suddenly feel like a child around your parents."

Aww your sons are very sweet. Where are you going on holiday?

Sounds like you have a good relationship with them

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Very true @Jynx

That is my mum's problem not mine

Sitting watching YouTube with Mr shaz

@BlueBay , you have 3 beautiful, caring children , way to go my sister xoxo, focus on them and your granddaughter

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Shaz51 ♥️🙏😘 xxoo

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I think you're doing very well with your handling of the situation with your mother. I'm sorry you're having a horrible time of it ATM. I agree with letting her know that you have a visitor whenever you can't keep discussing things with her, both of you have the right to respect and boundaries. You sound like a very caring, loving person and this is a good thing! You can never be too caring, ever, and if anybody thinks otherwise about you, block them. I'm sorry for sound offensive, please don't take it personally, I don't mean to sound nasty.
Is it ok if I suggest you just take time out for you for a while? Even if it's just a few days, it's fine. We all need to do self-care every day; it's important for our health. You seem to be very tired, please have a good rest, dear! Tomorrow is a new day!

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay That all sounds absolutely wonderful!

I am still with my folks and sister in NSW. Will be spending the evening with Sis and her 5 y.o and honestly getting to dote on my nephew is all I could ask for

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