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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Kids that age are the best @Jynx

I'm sure you're going to have a great time with your nephew.
My granddaughter is 4 and I love how she chats to me with her stories.
my daughters partner has two girls 5,3

they all get along most of the time!!!

I always feel sad this time of the year

I wish you a happy year ahead filled with love good health and be happy.
thanks for been so supportive to me this year.
always look forward to our chats

Xxxooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay They are so special aren't they! I'm so glad you get to spend lots of time with all three little tykes! And that they don't cause too much stress haha.

I know this time of year isn't good for everyone, so truly, your kind heart shines through in your words. I hope you enter the new year swiftly and get just get on with things, now that we are running out of stressful December days! Thank you for your sweet words, you deserve good things, and I wish you positive changes in the new year

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You could be on to something there I think @BlueBay
I don't have BPD but I do think that what you've said is accurate

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Drs visit this morning

abdominal pain (thought it was my appendix)

but the pain went up higher right side

so tender when dr touched the area

had to have blood test

seeing him Wednesday next week

I am worried it could be my pancreas (I have a cyst on it) or a diverticulitis flare up

taking it easy today

@Shaz51 @MDT @Former-Member @BPDSurvivor @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8 abd others ive forgotten

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

So very true @BlueBay @Jynx @Shaz51 ... boundaries boundaries boundaries!

So hard to set and maintain. So hard to find the balance. @Jynx Thanks for raising some really good points about regression and examples of boundary setting. @BlueBay , it is great you can go away with your children. Enjoy it, and put other things behind you for now - you cannot change your mum.

@Shaz51 im glad you had a sleep! After everything you are going through, your body obviously needed it!

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BPDSurvivor it's just hubby and I going away, our son organised and paid for our holiday. He is an amazing generous son.

tomorrow is my daughter's 30th birthday - where did those 30 years go!!!

it took us 5 years to conceive her and i believe she is our miracle baby. So so excited when i found out we were having a baby.

She has grown to such a strong woman, very independent, caring, loving and generous. She has achieved her dreams. To see her with her own daughter brings joy to see. The way she has nurtured little A to being a caring, beautiful, amazing mannered girl. She has done an amazing job as a single mum. And now she has met the most beautiful guy who adores her so much, i am so so happy for my daughter.

But ........ this morning they are cancelling her party for tomorrow. The 3 girls are not well, high temps and my daughter and her partner have both come up with a sore throat this morning.

So it's off and it will be rescheduled for another weekend. She had everything organised from meat to balloons to cake. oh well you can't do much with Covid can you? they are going now to get tested.

Last night we had a good night. We had our daughter over for dinner, the boys one was working and one was out with his mates. we ended up playing a card game and had so many laughs. the girls watched a movie and fell asleep. then at 11.30 we drove to the beach and watched the fireworks, it was a really good night.

but today i am feeling a bit flat - always at the start of the year i don't make goals or plans for the year. i just go with the flow.

called mum this morning to say 'happy new year' as i do every year. she answered and said happy new year and then said she had to go. literally a 3 min conversation. Didn't ask me what i did last night or today. nothing about my daughter's birthday that she got invited and still hasn't replied. she's rude and disrespectful.

so now i will not call her for another week.

anyway better go and organise lunch.

@MDT @Jynx @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Emelia8 @oceangirl and others reading

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hope your daughter and the girls feel better soon @BlueBay

Happy birthday to your daughter xx

Glad you had a good night last night

And I love the word you put at the end of your message " Anyway", that is a great start my sister xoxo

Anyway that is your mum's problem , not your's

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Yeah @BlueBay , I agree with @Shaz51 . Your mum's prob, not yours.

Congrats on being such an awesome mum to your beautiful children! As much as you are proud of them, they are proud of you and so are we. You have so much ahead of you. Focus on these things and live for them.

Also, I hope the girls feel better soon!

Ill be travelling interstate next wk. I'm a bit hesitant because of the 22,000+ cases in NSW. But meh? If I'm to get it, I get it. I just couldn't stand the thought of isolating for two wks! I'm triple vaxxed and have my stash of rapid antigen tests and masks. If I don't make the trip now, I never will! It's been three years since I last saw family!

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

My daughter @BPDSurvivor I think the isolation time is 7 days if vaccinated

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

today is a busy day - @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @MDT @Former-Member @Owlunar @Emelia8 @oceangirl and others

2 loads of washing

watered the gardens

went down the street for a coffee with hubby and bumped into some friends so we sat and chatted

went down the beach for a swim and stayed for about 2 hours

have to go and pick up meat from butcher for my daughter so she can freeze now for her birthday scheduled for a fortnight

have to buy some flowers for her

drop of to my daughter and leave at door; also give her our present for her

it's such a shame today was cancelled, but better to be safe than sorry.

they went with the 3 girls this mronign to get tested and had to wait in line outside for 2 hours; now they are home and resting

now they wait their results - hope their negative.

I'm having pains again so i am going to see my GP on wednesday. not sure what is going on but i feel that i may have diverticulitis or something with my pancreas.

trying to take things easy and resting as much as possible.

hope everyone is doing ok; xxxxx

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