Need to vent

@BlueBay I'm sorry to hear that today has been just as hard for you. I think I'd echo what @Owlunar said - this is a moment in time. A crappy moment. An overwhelming moment. And you feeling horrible in this moment is valid. This time will pass, you gotta keep breathing and grounding yourself along the way.

I think that no one is thinking of your inability to contribute as harshly as you are. And besides, isn't family all about sharing the load and supporting one another? And maybe your contribution isn't physical labour. Maybe it's telling others they are doing a good job, or giving out cuddles, or reading out some silly jokes from the internet, or making your son feel nice after he gave you that gift, because he gets to see those tears of relief in your eyes and know that he's doing something truly meaningful for you... those are all contributions too.

And for presents, if I don't know what to get for someone I'll make them something. Often a handmade and heartfelt gift is more special anyway. One year, I got my partner a little handwritten booklet of vouchers, where I'd written things like "Good for one cuddle!" or "This is redeemable for a half hour back massage" and "This voucher entitles the bearer one (1) session of watching a movie together that I may not like (but the bonus cuddles will be worth it)". There's all sorts of silly little gifts you can give without having to leave the house at all

I know you will get through this! We got you

Love the gift ideas @Jynx !

Hugs @BlueBay - I'm hearing you.

My morning turned terrible

@BPDSurvivor

@Jynx @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8

Sorry to hear that @BlueBay. Is everything going okay this afternoon?

I hear you @BlueBay

I honestly do not understand how any mother could be so cruel and conniving. I do know its not your fault. And I know for certain that you do not deserve such deplorable treatment from your mother. Perhaps you can find a way of seeing your dad, with help from other family members?

@BlueBay 💙💙💙💙

I really hear and feel your pain and all that comes with the feelings of rejection – the mother wound can run incredibly deep. Mothers are expected to love and care for their children, yet sadly that doesn't mean all mothers have that capacity.

Two years is a long time, and you know something, a lot can change in that time. I'm wondering whether you feel you can speak to your father about your need to maintain contact with him?

Please be gentle with yourself this evening @BlueBay. What you've experienced today sounds like a significant blow and you deserve to give yourself all the love that seems to have been lacking from others.

Thanks @Emelia8 @Former-Member

I can't talk or see my dad alone. No other siblings thst can help. Don't talk to them.

he has no mobile no computer

I just wish I could hibernate alone somewhere - not sure where but just alone

I hate her so much. She is stopping me

Hi @Emelia8 thanks for your support even though my post has been taken off. It annoys me that my post was put on and a peer worker replied and then took it off. It doesn't make sense.

anyway, it's off.

so, yes my mum is a very manipulative controlling person.

i want to put my post back up without the 'bad parts'

it doesn't matter, maybe i need to stay away, obviously posts are not to be put up. angry, really angry, i could have just taken the 'bad part' out. i don't even see the bad part as bad.

i don't care. need to go life is just so crap right now

thank you Em, @Emelia8 you mean a lot to me xxxxooo

You mean a lot to me too @BlueBay 💖 Please take care.

Just getting back to your Dad. Is there any way you could write a letter to your dad and get it to him without it going through your mother?

No, no way @Emelia8

she checks all mail at letterbox. and even if he did receive a letter from me he would tell her. so she would then send it back to me with a nasty phone call. i know how she works.

he does whatever she says. he has no say which is really sad.

how can a mother block her own child to see them, to see her dad and use the excuse of covid. it's crazy. she is crazy.