Need to vent

Hi there @BlueBay

Just wanted to check in to see how you're doing after this morning?

It sounded like it was a lot and very stressful.

Flybluebird

hi @Former-Member i did a GP this afternoon, not my regular one. she just ssat and listened while i talked and cried. not much use really. but while i was waiting my GP saw me and he asked what was wrong. i told him and he stayed and chatted to me. he encouraged me and said he will see me next week.

i am waiting for my psychologist to text me back to see if i can see him at 5pm. he messaged earlier as i emailed him this morning.

still not good, i stayed in bed most of the day, hiding away not wantingn to deal with anything.

i tried the CATT team but hung up twice.

Oh wow, unbelievable @BlueBay. I have utmost empathy for you, and to tell the truth I am also sitting in a space of absolute outrage. So many hoops you've already had to jump through just to survive, only to have Centrelink say "Syke! You have more hoops but these ones are 50ft up and now they're on fire."

I hope you can remember this is not a reflection of your worth as a human being, but a reflection of the immense disparities within the systems we are all chained to - disparities that favour the stable and wealthy and push everyone else further into debt and financial crisis.

It's definitely good to keep reaching out and talking about what you're dealing with, and also I sense that you are in need of some practical, achievable actions that can help alleviate the distress. Maybe today is a day for processing and having a 'pity-party' as @Former-Member mentioned, then perhaps tomorrow or the next day is about looking into the practical stuff - emergency financial aides, local food relief etc.

I reckon it's as @MDT said - there's always a way to navigate trouble. And we'll be beside you every step of the way

Hi @Jynx

all I want to do is escape this hurt this pain

life is too hard right now

it sucks

I hate centrelink and the govt

they make peoples lives so hatd

thst you just can't live

I feel sick in my stomach

not eating much

forgot my meds this morning but took them before

my psych is calling me tomorrow

she can't help

no one can hrlp

im a lost cause

hopeless helpless and guilty

shit life right now

wish I had some xtra meds

All I do is try

I keep trying

and then I get kicked in the guts

time and time agsin

it's so not fair

wish I could run away

hide away from life

@BlueBay I can really hear that there are a lot of super intense thoughts and feelings you're enduring right now. Have you been able to reach out to any of your supports?

You are so far from being a lost cause, you are an incredible person who has been dealt a horrible hand. But you are worthy of time, support, care, compassion - especially because of how much of these things you are giving to others, both here on the forums and off!

I am speaking to my psych tomorrow.
I feel very very delayed rejected

abd now I have nothing

you need money to luve

the way we are atm we can't live

So what's the point in continuing

There is nothing good about the future

I can't see it right now

@Jynx

You're in such a dark tunnel @BlueBay and it's so hard when the thing you're facing is so big, so unknowable. I think financial distress is one of the biggest, most common, but least talked about struggles in mental health. The systems we live in don't allow us to be what we are - we're funny little creatures! We like art, we like stories, we like playing and spontaneous fun, we like spending time with our friends and our children. So how did it end up like this?

I hope that regardless of the horrible, painful experience you're going through with your finances, you can remember those little things that make you human - even your crafting is something that has so much more value than money could ever determine! For tonight, is there something you can do that will help keep you focused on those little things?

@Jynx Today has been exhausting mentally draining from crying and stress

worrying to the max about what to do

I can't think about the little stuff

none of it

I'm dreading each day now

it feels there's no future

I hate it all

I am too ashamed to even say how much we have in our account

it's disgusting

embarassed

my mental health is st rock bottom

I'm scared I will get even worse than what I am right now

@BlueBay It's okay to be afraid

Because I know you are also strong.

The number in your account has nothing to do with your actual worth. It is embarrassing because we have all been socialised to believe that we should all be successful and financially stable. We have been led to believe that if we are struggling with money it is because we didn't work hard enough. We have been told over and over that money can't buy happiness when it is actually so, so stressful to have our basic needs depend on how much we can spend.

Maybe this is the worst you've ever felt with your MH... but you have been able to get through all of the other stuff in the past, so you can get through this too.

I hear you @BlueBay

I have been through times of financial stress and I know what it feels like - I know the despair - esp at Christmas

Have you been to the CAB - the Council Advise Bureau - they can help with vouchers - in the past they often helped me

I care - like so many here I would help if I could - hiding in your bed is safe and Okay

Do you think you need to be in hospital?

Dec