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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Morning @BlueBay
I really value your openness in sharing about the really tough situation & financial stress you are currently under.
I really do understand how it filters down into every aspect of life and how it can feel hard to breathe - with all that stress.

Is having someone to confide in & reach out for support helpful to you?
Do you think that your psychiatrist might have resources around relevant emergency financial aides, local food relief supports etc that might be of use right now?

Just would like to offer sitting ‘virtually’ beside you right now in the anxiety you’re feeling about this.

And acknowledging that today is a really hard day for you!

Hope it goes well with your apt this afternoon.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Former-Member for your support and sitting with me.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Saw my psych this afternoon. We talked about my stressors and listed them

finances

losing job

mum issues

surgery fir hernia

no parents for Xmas lunch

selling home

we agreed that finances is top of the stress list atm

she has decided after listening to me that she would like to change my med. to something that will lift my mood.
I was crying snd told her I can't live like this anymore that life is too hard

she is going to look at the meds and interacting with other meds I'm taking and at the start of next year I go to a public mh hospital where only 10 people stay and supervised by nurses doctors and psychs.
So either there or I go back to where I normally go to the private mh hospital.
seeing my psych just after Xmas so I'll know more then

@Former-Member @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @MDT @Owlunar @Emelia8 @HenryX @oceangirl

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hey @BlueBay
never forget two things that are fundamentally true

1) You are worth it and deserve good things

2) There is always a way to navigate trouble

You're a great person 🙂

I'm sure A agrees too 😉

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

sending you hugs my sister @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Had a terrible night with a shocking headache

possibly from all the stress

I'm struggling to get motivated and do things this morning

can't be bothered

don't want to do anything

I've got to do some sewing as now I've got another order for baby cloths

I feel crap, I feel sorry for myself (can you do that)

@Shaz51 @MDT @Former-Member @BPDSurvivor @Owlunar @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay
I hope you find some peace today

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Go gently with yourself @BlueBay

How is the plan you went through with the psych sitting with you now?

In my own way I was there myself just a few wks ago - spent the wkd indulging in self pity and really feeling deep sorry for myself. Looking back, I had a few good cries, vented to some trusted mates, booked in some supports, but at the time it really felt like it would stick around - for me it passed eventually as though part of my own inner cycle. Where I got to a clearer place to see what was needed next.

Sometimes for me, having a ‘pity party’ (meant in the most compassionate way) is what is needed hey, but I really gotta try not feel guilty about that at the same time, I think keeping an eye on how long it sticks around & reaching out when it gets too much is something I have done myself.

So when I saw your I feel crap, I feel sorry for myself (can you do that) - it made me think back to just a few wks ago.

Maybe doing the bare minimum today is what you need?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Today has gone from bad to worse in a flash thanks to centrelink

I tried to take out some super money to give us a buffer until we sell our home. I have to be on payments for 26 continuous weeks with no breaks. But apparently in October I didn't get paid because hubby earned slightly more so therefore it's not continuous so therefore I dont qualify to take my super out.
I now have to wait until middle of April to try again.

what's the point. How do I live. What's the point in living?
ive been crying in the car. I've emailed my psych and my psychologist. I've tried to make an appt to see my doctor but he's fully booked but if he has a cancellation they'll call me.
I tried the CAT team but hung up. They can't help me. Really no one can.
life is hard and it sucks.
@Former-Member @MDT @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @Owlunar @Emelia8

all I want is a break

my psych told me last night I'm in no way ready to go back to work yet.
im not sure what I want anymore.
so upset this morning.
hust want to hide under my doona.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay , I'm so sorry to hear of the news you recieved today, I can't imagine how stressful and disappointing it is for you. It sounds like there was a lot hanging on being able to access your super. I'm going to check in via email in a little bit, will you be safe in your car for now?

It's really great that you have reached out to your psychs and doctor for support, but if you need someone to chat to right now please know you can call our counsellors at SANE on 1800 187 263, or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

I'm here with you.

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