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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay my awesome sister

❤🥰

It was a lot to take I totally understand, don't try and do everything at once my friend

My healthcare team and I have a 3 month plan at a time until my next checkup

I know I have failed in a few places but this will continue on to the next plan

@Emelia8 , you made me smile my sister xoxo

About having the house to herself

Can you believe I am sitting in my mum's chair writting to you from my mobile phone and my mum and Mr shaz are sleeping

@MDT , @Eve7

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

oh my sis @Shaz51 i am upset that your house got burnt. i really feel sorry for you and hubby.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

Reg. too many doctors - i will try to take it one step at a time

I just feel too overwhelmed right now with all these differrent people to see

I was thinking before - am I a real bad person? am i a person who only wants medical people to 'look after me'

my doctor told me today that i need to stop to try to 'fix' things and stop 'looking for answers' when really he thinks i know what to do

is he right? am i been a child, a sensitive stupid girl who just needs someone to 'care' for me

i don't know anymore. i just feel so useless

i think myu doctor wants me to try to 'stop running away' or 'using my physical issues' to cover up my mental health instead of dealing with that first (does that make sense)

i feel so stupid, so jealous of people at times. i really don't want to work, but i know my doctor won't give me a 3 month illness clearance for centrelink, because in his eyes me working is better for me.

i wish i knew what to do, that's the hard part. i can't make decisions. i feel useless, so so useless.

@Shaz51 @MDT @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Ohhh my sister @BlueBay 🥰

Last year I wrote somewhere that I had 13 specialists to go too, wow too many

My Gp told me to stop reading about all my problems too

It is easy to fall into a routine all the time , I know I did it and I thought too that it would be too hard to change

But my sister we can do it together xxx xxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Shaz 🙂

@Shaz51

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Taking care given circumstances? @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay you are not stupid - far from it my from it my friend

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Offering hugs and a cuppa @BlueBay I would have given you a chocolate brownie but I just gobbled 3 of them myself.

Its hard when we have physical symptoms and mi as I think medics always say it’s the mi.

Sitting with you

🤗☕️🤗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

BlueBay, so sorry to hear your doctor didn't listen to your lived experience of pain.
You are so not useless. Tell yourself, affirm, what a gorgeous person you are. You have all these friends here loving you up. The most difficult thing to do is to love ourself when we are shamed and stigmatised by our mental health diagnoses. Let me tell you, everyone os on some spectrum of disorder. It may only come out after extreme trauma or grief and loss, or hard yards, none of us is perfect, or as a sign I gave my big sisters work desk, pobody's perfect.
You are loved, and you love.
I still think your doctors wrong not to listen to you. I'm angry and sad for you.
I've taken up crocheting to calm my mind, not that I do it that often, but the grand daughter bunny rug is growing one line at a time.
Rain is lovely - we've just had a long drought, and over the last few weeks we've had a day or 2 of drizzle, and just now we had 5 minute pour.
Counting the blessings, when possible.
Hugs to you

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

It's 2am and I'm back in hospital. Yesterday I woke up with sharp pain in lower left abdomen. It really hit me gir a six. I mentioned this to my doctor but he didn't check me. By 5pm I was in trouble. So much pain. Hubby decided to take me back to the doctor. As soon as he saw me he knew I wasn't good. He examined me snd said I need to go back to hospital.
hubby took me straight away and here I sm.
so much extra strong pain through a drip hasn't done much.
had a scan which has shown colitis. So niw waiting to be transferred to private hospital again.
I feel so crap. So my h psin. Oh and they have just started strong antibiotics through drip.

So here I am. Looks like no work sgsin this week.

@grayhorn @Eve7 @MDT @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar @Maggie

and others following

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I’m sorry you are in so much pain. I’m glad you are in hospital though, they can keep an eye on the pain, and hopefully, keep it under control.

You really are having a tough time.

Thinking of you. Sending 💙💙💙

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