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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay you’re a step ahead of me as I have nothing wrapped and one arm in your plaster.

I also have a cyst on my pancreas that is checked every year by gastroscopy....so far that’s all it is...a cyst.

Hugs

💙🤗💙🤗💙🤗💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @Eve7 thanks for your reply. Do you have pain with your cyst?
Just finished dinner chicken toast potatoes and veggies.
I'm really tired and my upper stomach hurts. Just took a tablet.
have you had dinner?
Quiet night for me

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

no, I don’t have pain from it and I don’t have my gall bladder now.

The cyst was only discovered when I had an ultrasound of my liver when enzymes were up.

Ive just had Thai tonight. I am careful with what I eat as I am terrified of having that pain again in upper stomach. I also never have analgesia of any kind on an empty stomach.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I love Thai food @Eve7

Yeah I'm worried that these bad attacks will come back. When I think back I've had these attacks a lot over the past prob two years. My doctor keeps telling me it's gastritis.
I'm so glad I went back to hodpital on Sunday and they did an ultrasound which picked up the dilation of pancreatic duct.

I also have to be careful snd eat really slow otherwise I have trouble digesting.

enjoy your night @Eve7 xx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi everyone @Eve7 @MDT @Maggie @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8 and others

I need to vent - if you don't want to read it's okay

I am feeling hopeless and every other negative word under the sun today 😞

I saw my GP this morning and he told me that a lot of my gut issues is from my mental health

He agrees that I was in pain but he doesn't understand why I had all these tests/scans done

He feels that I don't need this second gastrocope done as it won't show anything substantial/serious

He says that i need to focus/change my negative thinking to positive - easier said than done

He said I need to eat only fruit, vegies and meat or chicken or fish - no biscuits, chips etc as I have a fatty liver

He also said that i am under 'too many doctors/specialists' which is not good for my mental health as I am focussing too much on things

i need to walk more daily to lose weight

So after leaving his rooms - I cancelled my apt with the physio for my hips

I cancelled my appt with the consultant phsycian who my psych referred me to (my psych told my GP in a letter that I am seeing too many medical professionals but he is the one who referred me to see this guy)

I am seeing my cardiologist this afternoon but will tell him that i don't want any tests for now and see how i go with the laughing/near fainting. I know it will still happen but there is really nothing they can do, so he told me last time.

I was in tears in his rooms this morning, telling him that my stomach pains were bad this morning. He reassured me that it's nothing serious. he told me that the strong pain meds that i was given are really bad for your body and have really constipated my bowel last week, hence the pains.

I am so confused, overwhelmed and don't know what to do anymore. Work is angry with me sending me a msg this morning because i forgot to let them know i wasn't going in today. so they're not happy.

I just don't know anymore, i know what my GP is saying is mostly right. I need to get my stupid automatic negative head around into thinking more positive.

I just don't know

i feel so useless today 😞 😞

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thinking of going away

it's just too much

life shouldn't be so hard yet it is

mental illness is bloody too hard

i'm not copping out - it's just i;m too overwhelmed today

not good being home alone

i am sorry i really can't think

i just want to be believed and validated

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Its a lot to take in @BlueBay and perhaps some more too

What can you do for the rest of the day ?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I know @BlueBay ... its just so hard sometimes. 😔💖

Its unfortunate you're at home on your own right now. Perhaps you could go out for a nice coffee or something?

Home alone? Gosh however did you manage that with the 'crowded house' or 'packed to the rafters' situation at your place? 😄 Are you aware how many times you've craved some time to yourself over the past year? Can you find something to try and make the most of this rare opportunity? 💞

Sending love.

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Emelia8 @MDT

I'm having a coffee, its raining here so not going outside

I really can't be stuffed anymore

change your ways, change your views, change your attitude, change this, change that - that is all i hear

I am sorry i don't mean to be so angry. I'm going.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Its ok to be angry my friend @BlueBay

Indeed I think it is normal actually.

I'm sitting with you my friend
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