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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'll def show you when I've done some @BPDSurvivor

I'm worried tonight. My son is a police officer and has been called in to go to the Melbourne protest tonight. I have been watching it on tv most of the day. It's disgusting. I just hope and pray he will be alright.
he didn't know he was going until he got to work and msg me.
@Snowie @oceangirl @MDT @Shaz51 @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hope it goes OK @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Totally understand your concerns around the protests and your son @BlueBay 😔 Its a really worrying situation. What would we do without our dedicated brave police? I hope and pray there are no major injuries to the police who risk their lives every day to protect us all. I have no doubt you would be understandably proud of your son. But that does not mean you dont worry about him.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Hi my sister

I understand your worries/concerns for your boy. I hope he will be ok tonight. You're great mum BB. I am so proud of you sweetheart.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

What an awesome son! @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Eve7 @oceangirl @Emelia8 @MDT

I heard my son arrive hime at 1am. I'll chat to him later tidsy when he wakes up.I'm so proud of him so much. What he does as a job I would never do!!!
I've woken up with a headache and abdo pain. Let's hope it's not a flare of diverticulitis. I've also got pain in the area where I had shingles (no rash) My doctor said I can still get psin as it's the nerves and most likely when I'm stressed the pain occurs.
so tiday will be a slow rest day. It's raining anyway so inside day with pjs I think.

@Shaz51 @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay ,

What a relief to hear your son arrive home.

I find it very interesting that your son is a police officer. Once again, I can see the link between BPD and your highly caring heart to help people, being passed down to your son. Do you see this? Or am I making it up in my head?

My mum is a nurse, I'm a teacher, and my younger sister is also a teacher.... I find this similarity very interesting.

Idk. Maybe it's just an illusion in my mind. I'm trying to think of other people with BPD to compare with. Can you think of any?

What do you think?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks @BPDSurvivor

now that you mention it - yes i can see a great similarity between my son and I. He is a real clown at home, he loves his quiet time on his own but then i can now def see the caring, nurturing side to him as well. I can see he also has a soft heart like me. He is a fantastic Uncle to little A; loves playing and chatting to her. And she has him wrapped around her little fingers too!!

Yes, i think he does have a soft spot; i know he is a deep thinker like me. He will often do random acts of kindness eg. take hubby's car out for a drive and then comes home with it filled with petrol. Or he'll call us on his way home like the other night and says what's for dinner, I will get pizza for all of us. So yes he is kind and caring.

But then my younger son is the same as well, different career (accounting/finance/admin). He, too is kind, caring and a great son. He will always help me with the dishes every single night.

Do you know just now thinking about my 3 children (adults) - they have all grown up as such great adults. They all have their own career path (my daughtger is very creative and is a qualified make up artist) - so i am very proud.

And i guess that's all i can ask.

No, i don't know anyone else who has BPD. Interesting about your family too. Great observation @BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Good morning @BlueBay

Wishing you a good day 💗💗💗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi everyone @Snowie @BPDSurvivor @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @oceangirl @MDT and others

I emailed my psych the other day reg the lack of funds to pay her for next weeks session. She replied and said she will bulk bill me. She is happy to do that. She also brought forward my appt to tomorrow. I'm glad I need to talk to her. There's so much going on in my head.

does anyone here believe that dreams have a meaning?

I had a horrible dream about all these snakes everywhere. Wherever I looked there was a snake. I can still visualise the dream.

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