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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thank you @Owlunar it means a lot to me to have your support. because i know you understand how some mothers can be - mine and yours.

Yeah i am definitely keeping my distance with her, i don't trust her. it's like she is my best friend but i am scared she will get too close and ask me about my abuse and if my brother was involved (which is still think she may already know).

anyway, i am knitting a scarf, a nice fluffy grey one. once i finish that i will knit one for little A in bright rainbow colours. i am finding reading a bit difficult lately as my concentration span isn't good. i do enjoy reading autobiographies, so maybe i can look at that. now you got me thinking i will go online now and see what i can buy. i do enjoy receiving things in the mail too.

and also reg. work - if i am not well enough by monday afternoon, i will call my GP to write me another certificate and let work know. i am NOT going in to work sick, not putting the aged customers at risk. and if my retail manager who thinks everyone should just soldier on when sick cracks it - well so be it. i don't care anymore. if they wnat to get rid of me they can. i am so over trying to be good for everyone even when unwell.

i am now listening to my body - to rest, sleep and eat well. i can't go out for a walk because it's cold and raining. so today will be an indoor day.

i hope you can enjoy your coffee and books. will chat later

love you lots for being her for me xxxooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Morning my beautiful friends @Owlunar @BPDSurvivor @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @MDT @saltandpepper @Anastasia and others following

Yesterday i had an okay day. Hubby and I went for a short walk, then bought a coffee and did a little grocery shopping. As we were walking we saw our younger son and his mate at the beach in the water. Yes in the water (waist high). Crazy, crazy boys but you can't tell them!!! They told me it's good for them. The looks they got from locals walking down the beach was funny 🙂

I came home and decided to make a cauliflower pizza base and put a little topping and also made a spanakopita. Yum they were both delicious. I finished the wide scarf i made and now i have some wool left so making another one but not as wide.

Today I have a phone appt with my psycholgoist. I am still feeling a bit yuk and my sore throat is still there. I feel chesty in the mornings but the night is more dry cough, which is annoying. So not sure if I should go to work tomorrow or not. It will be a 10-7pm shift. Long day.

We are doing our tax this week, which will be good, hoping to get some refunds this year which will help us financially. You know i was thinking is it worth me working for $100 or should I resign, get better mentally and phsycially and look for another job. Maybe the universe is telling me to leave as each time i have to work i get sick!!!

@saltandpepper anymore dancing!!! lol

@Emelia8 thinking of you this morning

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

good to hear from you @BlueBay
I hope you have a productive day and week ahead my friend

Yes the work situation is tough. Not sure I am the right person to ask on that one lol

Good to see you and have a good day

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @MDT

hope you have a good day today xxoo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Posted over on my thread @BlueBay
Lots going on but when is that never the case with me right? Lol

See you around my friend

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 💞

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hello dear @BlueBay ,

Interesting thought about work.

There's no right or wrong.

For me, if I didn't work, I'd be much worse off mentally. Work gives me a reason that I must get out of bed. Work is how I maintain responsibility and routine. Work forces me to interact with people. Work means I have to have challenges and difficulties. Work means I make enemies, but I also make "friends". All for these things a good for my personal growth.

However, if I were to speak from myself, I wouldn't want to work because I'd rather stay in bed ALL day. I'd rather not have to see and talk to people. I'd rather not have enemies. I rather not have to deal with problems/challenges....

If I were to take the latter, I'd feel no satisfaction. Hence, I've chosen to work.

But you are not me. You've probably worked so hard all your life and just want a rest now.

Whatever it is, think it through, we are here for you.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BPDSurvivor

I do understand what you're saying about what you enjoy about working.
and I'm exactly thinking what you would do if that was you - stay in bed all day. that's me.

I'm really not sure what I want. I think I'm bored at work. I'm sick of dusting every single shift. I know it's a job but I have too much time on my mind to think while dusting. (Does thst make sense)

I think while being home sick it has made me realise that I enjoy been home but then the flip side is I can also get myself into a very bad way if I don't stay busy. I enjoy staying in bed watching tv or knitting. I don't have to see the world out there. I don't have to go anywhere. I never used to be like that but now it's more and more snd I enjoy it. Even showering when home I leave it for a day or two. Now that was never me. I think my self care and confidence has gone.

I know there's no right or wrong. I think I need to find a right balance - whatever that is for me.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Cold windy rainy

laying in bed contemplating whether to stay here or go to work

I could easily snug myself back into bed and cocoon myself to stay safe

I don't want to work until 7pm. my mind is telling me to stay but I know I have to go because they rang me yesterday to check I was better to go in.

oh the wind is strong

rattling the roof

it's easy to snug in my doona

@BPDSurvivor @Anastasia @MDT @Owlunar @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @saltandpepper

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hello and hugs my sister @BlueBay

sounds like you did go to work on a day like today

thinking of you lots xxx

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