Anony18Senior Contributor
Not sure what to do
I have been with my partner for a year and I am aware he has had alot of tragedies in his life before he dated me. I am aware his ex cheated on him then left him when his dad passed a few years ago. Along with that his friends left him as well. So not sure if this is reason why he is currently pushing me away. He isn't a very open person but has told me how his sibling has mental issues which therapy past 3 yrs havent helped the sibling. Plus I don't think the mum has been coping either leaving him to have all this reliance on him. I know he has anxiety and was seeing a therapist at one point but not sure if he still does.
Few weeks ago a friend passed away and he did come over the next day which was surprising but of course when I asked if he is ok he responded yes. After that he has shut me off. I text and miss call everyday to show I care and only after a few days later he will respond I am ok just needed some space. Which leaves me to think he doesnt need it anymore. He also later mentioned how he is now going through a life crisis with a big birthday milestone coming. I asked him multiple times if we could catch up to talk cause i miss him but also so i can figure out what I am suppose to do to support him through this. I dont know if it is a good thing even though am chasing him that he does text me every 3-5 days to say he is ok just needed space. Last week he even said he been wanting call me but needed space. Again not sure if that is a good sign.
Mid this week, after not hearing and seeing him for few weeks, i felt worried he is drifting away and I texted him to express that. He lashed out in his reply saying how he had put alot of stuff in the back burner due to work, family and other spare time for me. This was not something I was aware off cause he never told me. He also mentioned how now he is going through this life crisis and it appears am holding it against him for not fixing it when in fact I am anxious cause i care about him and want to support but he doesnt help me understand how support him and pushes me away. He said he would love have my life and that I should not feel anxious and count my blessings when he has it worst and appears to not break down as much as I do. I replied asking him if we could talk cause obviously I want to understand if he still wants be with me and if so compromise a way I can support him, ie give him space but he needs to text me he is ok every few days etc. He has not replied.
The message he sent I believe is part of frustration due to my insecurity plus the night before his sibling acted up big time. I don't think his message was a break up..my friends says that if he did it would be face to face. I am aware he needs his space but I so desperately want to talk to him to figure out if we can work this out together. Understand if he wants be as his support and if I am a positive influence in his life. And if he does want my support I will give it but he needs communicate better, ie tell me earlier and text me if not everyday, every few days he is ok.
I am not sure what to do since I want to really talk to him but he doesnt want talk to me yet and it is making me struggle not knowing when. I want him to know I care a great deal but not sure how to reach out. Also his birthday is coming soon so was gonna text if i dont hear.
If anyone has got any advice I appreciate it.
Few weeks ago a friend passed away and he did come over the next day which was surprising but of course when I asked if he is ok he responded yes. After that he has shut me off. I text and miss call everyday to show I care and only after a few days later he will respond I am ok just needed some space. Which leaves me to think he doesnt need it anymore. He also later mentioned how he is now going through a life crisis with a big birthday milestone coming. I asked him multiple times if we could catch up to talk cause i miss him but also so i can figure out what I am suppose to do to support him through this. I dont know if it is a good thing even though am chasing him that he does text me every 3-5 days to say he is ok just needed space. Last week he even said he been wanting call me but needed space. Again not sure if that is a good sign.
Mid this week, after not hearing and seeing him for few weeks, i felt worried he is drifting away and I texted him to express that. He lashed out in his reply saying how he had put alot of stuff in the back burner due to work, family and other spare time for me. This was not something I was aware off cause he never told me. He also mentioned how now he is going through this life crisis and it appears am holding it against him for not fixing it when in fact I am anxious cause i care about him and want to support but he doesnt help me understand how support him and pushes me away. He said he would love have my life and that I should not feel anxious and count my blessings when he has it worst and appears to not break down as much as I do. I replied asking him if we could talk cause obviously I want to understand if he still wants be with me and if so compromise a way I can support him, ie give him space but he needs to text me he is ok every few days etc. He has not replied.
The message he sent I believe is part of frustration due to my insecurity plus the night before his sibling acted up big time. I don't think his message was a break up..my friends says that if he did it would be face to face. I am aware he needs his space but I so desperately want to talk to him to figure out if we can work this out together. Understand if he wants be as his support and if I am a positive influence in his life. And if he does want my support I will give it but he needs communicate better, ie tell me earlier and text me if not everyday, every few days he is ok.
I am not sure what to do since I want to really talk to him but he doesnt want talk to me yet and it is making me struggle not knowing when. I want him to know I care a great deal but not sure how to reach out. Also his birthday is coming soon so was gonna text if i dont hear.
If anyone has got any advice I appreciate it.
