childhood emotional neglect

@AEB Thanks for sharing. When anyone says to me you are going to have to do hard work, I feel so much anger. I'm not sure why, there is always a reason. One I can think of is I am 40 years old and I feel my entire life has been hard work. It was hard work surviving the abuse, It was hard work leaving a "supposed home" at 16 and spending the next five years in and out of homes for youth, it was hard work not having a diagnosis till 32 of complex post traumatic stress disorder with severe depression and anxiety, it was hard work dealing with a major drug addiction and being an alcoholic, it was hard work being in many abusive relationships, it was hard work feeling like a loser my whole life, it was hard work living on the streets of Sydney, it was hard work when my best friend died in the house we were sharing together, it was hard work taking care of the best friend I loved, it's hard work to keep relationships going. Tell me, when is life going to stop being hard work for me?

@Powderfinger Mate I wish I had the answer for you. I totally hear you and feel you. I’ve got my own struggles and hard work to keep dealing with myself. I think the only thing that keeps me going at times is to know that I’m not in this alone and that there are people who care and are willing to help support us through all the hard times. I think having a really strong support system helps a lot. Im sorry that I don’t have the answers for you....I don’t have the answers I need either. But I know I’m not going to give up looking for answers. I deserve to be healed. I deserve to be happy and wanted and loved. And you know what? YOU deserve it as well!!!! If you can get your head into the mindset that you deserve to be happy and loved I think that shifts a lot of negative thoughts and helps to turn things around.

@AEB

I keep scanning the self help world, and am heartened by much of what I see. It is only in recent human history that humans have been able to take more control over family creation. There is a lot of work to do on all fronts. Nobody is entitled to a perfect ride, no matter what the ads tell us. Anyway, thats the way I see it. I was always painfully aware of the struggles my parents faced, but that mainly increased my sense of invisibility. Lately they have a new word for it: parentification.

Take Care All

@AEB sorry I did not respond. That will take time. My head has been smashed these last nine months.

@Powderfinger All good I totally understand

@AEB I appreciate your understanding.

@Powderfinger No worries I’ll always understand and I’ll always listen

@AEB Thank you so much.

@Powderfinger you reach out anytime you need to. Wish I could give you my number

@AEB I definitely will. It is ok, I totally understand there are rules here. I know you are there for me and that means a lot. You have been amazing today.