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zipperSenior Contributor
Hello ladies
I am a wife who has had a husband with depression for 10 years now. He has had multiple hospitalisations, long series of ECT's, and is now not able to work. I would love to hear from ladies who have been, are in, my shoes and was wondering if you would answer a few questions for me.
1. Where have you needed the most help, and, could you find it?
2. What has been your hardest struggle?
thanks in advance and all my best wishes
ZZ
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
tymeModerator
Argh, sounds like things have been hectic for you @Tootsy ! I'm sorry to hear about the whirlwind. Hopefully there is calm after the storm @Tootsy
Thinking of you.
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
@Tootsy , soo good to hear from you but very sorry about your storm
Sending you lots of hugs my friend 🧡
@Healandlove , @tyme , @Jynx
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
HealandloveSenior Contributor
@Shaz51 thank you for the tag shazzy
@Tootsy I'm so sorry you are going through this. Not being able to visit your kids is not right. Also not being able to have their photos around.
I know irrational thinking. I've experienced it with my husband. The thing about wanting to punch your son is really worrying. Can you get some expert guidance?
I am here for you and sending you lots of hugs. I hope things settle soon.
Sending you love ❤️.🫂
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
JynxModerator
@Tootsy oh wow that is soooo hard!! I can imagine you miss them terribly 🥺
Yeah I'm with @Healandlove threatening your son is soooo scary!! Could be worth chatting to 1800RESPECT about it!
Hope the storm passes soon 🤞💜
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
TootsySenior Contributor
@Shaz51 @tyme @Jynx @Healandlove Sorry ive been MIA, it’s been a a year of ups and downs thats for sure. I have been classed as being at high risk for DV and I thought it was getting better but it’s not. Im at a loss to help hubs as he turns everything around on me when i say anything. The threats are getting out if hand now
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
TootsySenior Contributor
I do have a support network with DV
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
AuntGlowModerator
Hi @Tootsy,
Just letting you know I am here with you tonight.
What you have shared sounds incredibly distressing... I am so sorry that home and hubby aren't feeling safe right now. You absolutely deserve to feel unconditionally safe in your relationship, and I want to remind you that 1800 RESPECT are always available to you.
I know you mentioned that you have a support network for DV - is there anyone you can reach out to tonight?
And can you confirm if you are safe right now? 💛
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
TootsySenior Contributor
@AuntGlow Thank you for reaching out, yes I’m safe thank you. He is passed out on the lounge for the night 🤞 I do have a safety plan in place and a friend I can contact if needed. Yes I have been told about 1800respect , I think I’ll call them tomorrow. I thought it was his mental health but I’m realising that physiological abuse is not
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
AuntGlowModerator
Thank you for letting me know you are safe. @Tootsy
I am relieved to hear you have a safety plan and someone you can go to.
1800R is 24 hours, so please know you can call them whenever you need. 000 is always available if you feel unsafe as well.
I can imagine this would be such a vulnerable and confusing time for you... and you're right, psychological abuse is not okay.
What are you able to do to care for yourself tonight?
Sending big hugs your way. 💛
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
TootsySenior Contributor
Thank you @AuntGlow
yes I think I’d rather call them when I’m free to talk. He’s not aware he’s abusive he would just turn it back on to me saying I’m in the wrong. I know I can’t continue like this, I think it’s called Trauma bonding as I hold on to the better days but they are very few now.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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