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zipperSenior Contributor
Hello ladies
I am a wife who has had a husband with depression for 10 years now. He has had multiple hospitalisations, long series of ECT's, and is now not able to work. I would love to hear from ladies who have been, are in, my shoes and was wondering if you would answer a few questions for me.
1. Where have you needed the most help, and, could you find it?
2. What has been your hardest struggle?
thanks in advance and all my best wishes
ZZ
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
zipperSenior Contributor
Im sorry Mrs C for not fully understanding and it is a difficult situation you are finding yourself in.
I have had to take charge of our familys finances as money was and is a trigger for my husband to spiral downwards. It got to the stage money couldnt be discussed at all. It is a bit better now but I have to choose my moments. It is hard when I am keeping money aside for bills that I know are coming in and he can only use one button at the ATM - the $60 button. When I query him, he says but I needed cash! $60 for a trip to the local shops and to buy himself coffee at the most expensive place in town!!
Perhaps, wait till a quiet time and before the bills are due, suggest that you could take some pressures off him, by paying them. Im sure you have already done this but it may be a case of choosing your moment and your battles
Or You may just have to ignore his 'carry ons' (I know its hard) and say fine, we will just have it all disconnected and just pay the extra fees to get it put back on again
Sorry, another thought, being practical here, are you able to access the money if something happens to him? Maybe a bit of a plan could be put into action so you arent ever left in a bad situation
take care
ZZ
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
NikNikSenior Contributor
Hi all,
I thought you might find this new thread about the signs of a health relationship.
Hope you're all well 🙂
Nik
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
cheersquadSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Hi @cheersquad I am a wife of my husband who has depression and anxiety bad , the support group is an hour away and during the day which makes it impossible for me to go to
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Hi @Tatsinda ,
your second comment is so true
2. I think the hardest bit has been the unpredictability of it, and having to switch between carer and wife. And the loneliness that comes with it, and sense of abandonment - one minute I have a husband, the next things can deteriorate and I have a patient again
I find I can not plan things together , as my husband changes his mind all the time and he forgets things as well
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
BeHappySenior Contributor
I can relate to this @Shaz51
It's hard to make plans so I don't. I try to approach thing day by day if I can.
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
hi @cheersquad , you have some great tips , thanks for sharing
My husband has chronic anxiety and depression ,
we are self employed but sometimes it gets too much for him, I take care of everything , and bills ect, he loves pleasing people , at yesterdays meeting she said to cut back on the workload , whih my hubby thinks is a good idea but he cant say no to anyone ( I do that ) and to say to our customers we not coming back is not what he wants to do
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
sorry everyone , if I sound like a broken record
Hubby`s gone to sleep and i have been looking up past messages and will have to get back to looking after myself as well
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
VioletContributor
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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