I've had really bad day yesterday & today

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope 😌🌹💕

HI @Former-Member

So sorry to hear what as happen with your Mother and I here if you need to talk. You have always amazed me with how much support you give others and I really appreciate your kindness, integrity and friendship. I was really struggling last week and the stress of inteacting with SIL.

I think the HRT will help me too but I may wait a bit longer to start any treatment. But as you know I have my cognitive testing tomorrow at 3pm after my specialist appointment. I've just came from helping out at the local swim centre this afternoon and stopped off and got some fisn & chips for dinner.

I hope you okay @Former-Member. I am here for you too my friend. Lots of love always

@Former-Member

FIsh and chips yum!!!, my favourite! Good to read that you are getting out and about doing what you do best and enjoy. It would of been appreciated by others - often we can't see this.

Thank you for your kind words. My mother is a very cold, negative person my friend;- I tried and others did say they could not understand why I let her back into my life but I had to try. For her and for me - and for awhile she did respond. But she is who she is and is not someone I see as a mother anymore. Very sad for me yes as it nearly did my head in - as the coldness and lovelessness sought to destroy me but my husband's love and my faith fought back and won.

I have much compassion for others as I know what it is to be mistreated and have suffered unimaginably. And when others go through similar I feel there pain which urges me to do my upmost to ease that pain and help them heal. So good does come from suffering. It has made me a better person.

The situation is even sadder for my mother and those like her as their suffering will be great; when the fog lifts and they becomes aware in the end of what they had, what could of been and what they lost. My mother is blind. I honestly can't see her as a mother in any shape or form any more - and I distance myself from such toxic people before it effects me mentally.

Good luck with your cognitive test tomorrow - let us know how it goes.

Thankyou for your friendship @Former-Member it means a lot. The best of life lyes before you xxxx ❤️

It was very interesting to read that you are a non-conformist @Former-Member... I was strongly trained to conform as a child .. so strongly that now as an adult I can reflect that many of my instincts as a young person were just to go with the flow ... rather than exercising personal judgement and stepping back ... now I step back a lot more ... and have a fair training in critical tinking ... but my instinct is still to conform ... I am very slow to challenge ... just a baby at it ... getting better and more immediate at it though ... thanks to a few friends and this forum.

Yeah .... I was conformist .... a peace-maker .... then I survived "trial-by-in-laws" .... and graduated in critical thinking .... 😏 .... still a peace-maker at heart .... but less naive about it these days ...

You not only survived @Faith-and-Hope - you triumphed!! You are a beautiful soul 🌷

Yes it's interesting the belief systems that remain so deep in us.

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@OverTheEdge wrote:

You not only survived @Faith-and-Hope - you triumphed!! You are a beautiful soul 🌷

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Aw gee thanks @Former-Member 😊

I think it's a triumph if you can do the lemons-to-lemonade thing with it .... or at least knock yourself out trying .... 😜

@Former-Member

I did enjoy my dinner last night- it is my favorite too.

Your welcome @Former-Member ! I am sorry to hear what as happen with your mother, and it must really cause you a lot of grief, hurt, anxiety, sadness and distress and other emotions that I have not picked. In many ways what you are feeling as no words to describe it.But I am so happy to hear that your husband has been your rock through this for you. He must be one of the good guys.

I tend to try to take away other peoples pain and that was my role in my family of origin, I think because I am the youngest but I also do this outside the family too. Growing up with my mum being sick, that it made me a better person too and someone with a lot of compassion for others

I think its wise to distance yourself from toxic people and surround yourself with kinder, accepting, considerate and caring folks. But most important that they appreciate you because overtime this can eat away at your self worth and contribute to depression and anxiety.

I did my cognitive test today, but they want to do some more testing that is more extensive then the one I did today. I just did the mini mental, I thought I was doing the longer testing today. What throw me was the additional test she did and asked me to recall words starting with the letter T,C,D and I failed it miserably. But I tried this when I got home with other letters and I passed the benchmark for the test.

Hi @Former-Member

Yes, my husband is my rock. He is a very caring, strong person.

You being the peace maker in the family and showing much compassion would of, unbeknown to you, made your SIL feel small. Hence one of the reasons why she tries to bring you down - possibly the same for your parents given they are also caring people.

That's what insecure people do in the desperate attempt to try and feel better about themselves. Instead of venturing down the hard route of being giving which they aren't very capable of and/or chose not to do. That's why they can be so destructive of sensitive good people. You will find her circle of friends/ family she invites over in preference are just like her in ways. You have made the right decision.

Those recall words that threw you - were you suppose to try and memorise them first and didn't, or just random words starting with C, T, D? I am not familiar with cognitive tests. When do you do the more extensive tests. Hope your day was a good one x