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Down in the Dumps

Down in the Dumps

.

The numbing down.

The dumbing down.

The meds settle and my brain goes sideways.
I am so alone, most of the time.

I somethimes just like my own company.

The past 6 months were so busy and traumatic helping my elderly Mum into care, her fighting every inch of the way.

Now she is looked after, safe, a bit unhappy but trying to make the most of her new life situation.

Days and weeks spent being chucked into PTSD flashbacks. And bit by bit in fact learning that the person I was dealing with (the perpetrator of early abuse) is just a human being struggling too, and I hate that I hate that I saw his humanity. I feel SO conflicted. That I can be empathetic towards the person who caused me so much trauma... I just want to hate him, but I am finding I do not, but I cannot forgive him either, Its a hard thing.

Went to see a psychologist for a few sessions. Same old, Same old. First one, second one. Very down and anxious. All helpie and useful. Then flicked into a mild hypomania so arrived all bouncy and protecting my inner-core. She decided I didn;t need any more sessions, because of the way I presented. i couldn;t say - but I am actually hypomanic. Because when I am I don;t know, when I am IN it I don;t know. I just look and sound very together - but I talk fast and my thought flow and speech is quite different. But because these people don;t know me - they just see someone with a sparkle int he eye saying "I am going REALLY well" and they beleive me. Then the crash down, down. I have been crying every day, alone.

My poor partner had all her teeth out a month ago - from peridontal disease and she is trying to adapt to new dentures and I feel so very sorry for her - she supports us both the only person in our relationship who works and I feel so damned useless. I have taken good care of her preparing meals she can eat (soup, soup, custard, soup, scrambled egg) but she has to keep getting up and going to work putting her dentures in which hurt so much. Poor girl having to do that HAVING to do it so we can both survive.

I feel so useless, broken body, broken mind. She is going interstate for a week next week and I will be really ALONE then - and I am fearful of that. I can cope for the 8 hours she is at work, entertain myself do housework, do some grpahic design , flop about on facebook, read, watch TV, walk my darling doggie daughter, visit Mum (but I just need a break from Mum really!), shop etc - but really I feel right now that my life is such a waste of space.

I came on here with an intent to involve and read others stories see what I could do to reach OUT instead of just stewing on my own juices. I am reading other people's stries and it is jst crashing me down further.

My doggie-daughter is having her own dental today, she will be aneasthetised and have a tooth removed and scale cleaned, I have her on a very good diet, but her breed is prone to teeth decay. So I don;t even have her here breathing beside me. I know she will be beside herself at the vets she has such huge sepeartion anxiety. Poor girlie too.

Oh what a woe is me post this is! What shall I DO - to lift myself up and out? What? Suggestions welcome - it is cold and threatening rain so walk is not a possibility!

119 replies

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In response to: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

Yeah ... Wow @MoonGal .....

Stay strong .... here listening to you .....

💜💐💜💐💜💐💋

In response to: Re: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

@Faith-and-Hope thank you. I was'nt really sure if I should even say all this here - but it has helped putting it down like this, helps sort it into a narrative rather than just a jumble of snapshots and fears and tears. Thank you for listening. Means a lot. .

In response to: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

That's the beauty of the anonymity of the Forums @MoonGal ..... it's a form of journaling and journaling helps you to hear what your inner voice is saying more clearly ... at least it does for me .... and other people's feedback and questions can help clarify how you order it all in your own mind too ..... there sort of has to be a bit of an ordering process going on just in the re telling itself ....

And the pent-up emotional energy has to go somewhere .....

And then to receive care back again is soothing .....

Here for each other. Your story helps others. It allows something positive to result from all the pain ..... gives value to your suffering .....

Big gentle hugs @MoonGal ..... 💜💐💕

In response to: Re: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

Ambivalent

I have rent the veil at the altar of my Mother’s motherhood.

It feels full of fear and betrayal.

The edifice of Mother’s Love has collapsed.

And I am standing covered in the dust of 5 decades of ambivalence.

Hers and my own.

Neither of us Mothers.

Both trapped in a facsimile of mothering…

Now reversed in her aged, vulnerability and needs.

Because we must.

I too am ambivalent.

But, Love is an act of the will.

We are crushed by it.

She worshipped the *golden calf but was denied fecundity.

And I was the sacrifice.
___________________

MoonGal (c) August 2016

(*child birth).

PS: I do love my Mum.

In response to: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

@MoonGal. Firstly I have to say a huge WELL DONE YOU! You have so much on your plate but you recognised that YOU needed help too. My childhood experiences are different from your, so I'll leave that side of things to those who truly understand.
I love that you have given yourself permissionto explore your inner child at didifferent ages. What she felt / experienced.
I can only imagine how hard this has been for you. But please, don't give up. You have learnt alot already, but it sounds like you might be on the cusp of a big break through. Please keep talking with your therapist (she does sound a perfect fit for you). Call LifeLine. Post on here. Whatever helps.
Am very proud of the effort you have made

In response to: Re: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

@utopia - thank you for your encouragement and acknowledgement. I am on a journey with this one that's for sure. I really am on to something huge here, and the woman from LifeLine said just take it slowly it was alife time int he making it doesn;t all have to be resolved in a few hours or days. Wise advice.

In response to: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

Very wise advice to my ears @MoonGal

❤

In response to: Re: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

Hey friends @Faith-and-Hope, @utopia, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @Bimby2

This long many toothed monster of the melancholic period is eating me. I had a day yesterday.

As I discover more about what it has been to be dispossessed all my life. Shining the spotlight on the deeply wounded places in me.

Still it is important to go through - a lifetime of betrayal of myself really I have had a view of myself that was all wrong, like somehow as a little kid and onwards what happened to me, and what I did as a result of that was my fault. It is very hard to talk about clearly but the maelstrom it has checked me into is like a huge deluge after a drought - it is flooding low lying areas and has drowned many long held mistaken beleifs.

So I am here (after a week without my computer which died with its legs in the air). Today needs to be a very gentle day as I recover/uncover from a pretty terrible storm yesterday started by my mother.

I hope each of you are travellin' okay? How is life?

In response to: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

❤💕 @MoonGal ..... walkin' with you here Hun .....

Hope you do have a gentle day .... will be thinking of you xx

In response to: Re: Down in the Dumps

Re: Down in the Dumps

@Faith-and-Hope thank you

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