is anyone awake or just me,had a bad day and cant sleep now,all because Ive been so attached to the past and cant forgive myself for smallest mistakes it sounds stupid but I have trouble for forgiving myself for losing phone messages from my old phone in order to have new phone setup up I know Im overreacting,I get too attached to past hurts and past good but you cant keep everything in life and you have to move on but its like Im being very hatefull towards myself over the smallest of issues,does anyone else have trouble letting go of there past in any way,I almost talked to someone on the new phone,someone from my past who hurt me like even though I should be happy Im not and instead Im pointing out to myself my nitty gritty issues instead of sleeping,self sabotage thoughts even though family around me are kind and supportive my brain wants to go backwards instead to the people thet hurt me and its hard to breakfree from that type of thinking,I shouldnt self sabotage but I do,as for my overreacting behaviour that wouldnt be a sign of asbergers or bipolar or something cause of moods been sudden at different and a bit full on emotionally? I still havent got counciling yet even though I said I would,hope I learn a lesson from feeling this way could it be a lesson in letting go? of not having my own way? Im tired but cant sleep as my thoughts wont let me that sounds stupid too,I dont like losing things or anything Im attached to and yet thats what I do maybe to punish myself in some way,spent alot of time today crying like a baby and reacting too much or is this all part of anxiety and depression?,is there a way to have councilling without a mental health plan ? as I dont want to see my doctor for them to say just go back to the phychologist I was seeing at one point,I can see that Ive come so far and have alot to be gratefull for its just not regeristing with me emotionally at the momment sorry for this post being so long,I hope everyone on here was able to get plenty of slepp what a buch of stupid things to worry about because even if Ive lost past messages I never fully loose my family or memories,do I feel rejected cause of the family members that have been hurtfull this year? am I supposed to repair relationships instead of ignoring them like they have been ignoring me for months.sleep well everyone my brain wont let me sleep
