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Taken a while to get started here

Taken a while to get started here

Hi,

Been through a lot and managed on a sad day to finally sign up here.

It has been hard because the abuse has meant that I am no longer confident in anything I say or how I say it.

I am trying to come to grips with living alone after services helped me leave the abusive relationship, but I grive for the four kids so much. Worse still I was seeing the behavoiurs affecting the kids and worry about them.

Clinical Depression, A form of BPD I cannot pronounce, anxiety, immune disorder complicating everything.

I have been forced silent by abusive ex, even when tried to "speak up and stay chaty" about suicidal, negative thoughts. "Don't be silly", and left.(this when still together)

A long story and was isolated from friends and most family early in the relationship - 9 years ago, so a lot got bottled up.

Love the kids, was my purpose there, and what held on through the abuse. Now losing contact making me so sad about it all as I will tell them what was going on.

All I did taken for granted and much lost to me, material and emotional, in my leaving.

Rebulding to some form of happiness seems impossible and struggle to do anything. A lonely limbo with nothing much else than thinking about the,abuse lies, hypocracy, infedelity and how it all aftected the kids, even though wanting to move forward.

Psychologist today, again, advises terminate all contact and wipe the kids as they have been a tool for further abuse - but how do I deal with my love for them? Paticularly when I hate this lonelyness so much

36 replies

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In response to: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

@Chameleon yes it is scary, and the fear can be a trap to staying where toxic too long. Where I am is progress with my appreciation to the fv and abuse services that helped facilitate thus far. The not knowing what is comming is hard but I remember being told getting from a bad place to a good place was going to involve crossing a bridge of harship first. I hope we both get to the other side and can look back at it all as a growing experience and be happy.

In response to: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here


@SadUnicorn wrote:

What I will say is it was one of lifes most increadible experiences regaining eysight after being blind - and very lucky.


I'm so glad to hear!


@SadUnicorn wrote:

More confident after test results today means I will also try to explore these forums more. Maybe I can regain the same ability to fight back with the mental situation.


I really hope so, @SadUnicorn 🙂

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

Happy is good.

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

A developmnent that makes me happy! one of the kids contacted. I am meeting three of them tomorrow 🙂

A little nervous of being good enough or interesting enough for teenage girls but taking it as a positive for the future if things go well.

A visitor last night and cooking class today. Mood is good :-), the best in some time. I wish you all the same

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

That's great news, @SadUnicorn ! Both about meeting the kids and about your mood improving. 🙂 I hope it goes well tomorrow!

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

It did go well even though one of the twins dropped out due to headache.

Over 4.5 hours, and things seem positive for future evenrs with them.

I felt very empty though as soon as I arrived home, though kept a reasonable mood all night.

This morning's challenge was to try and continue better mood so I took the electic bike out on a local foreshore park. I tried just smiling as I rode in the busy park and many smilled back. A rather uplifting excercise. Kinda socialising without socialising and a way to put troubles aside for a while.

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

From waking this morning it is back to the miserable, defeated feelings. Everything is so hard to do. Feels like I am somehow waiting for something that will never happen, and think about the loss of my hopes and dreams through this. And all my effort and struggle amounting to so little. Little strategies of activity are not working today so very bored to boot. nothing is interesting.

Hate this changing.

I can think of things that maybe would help, but no motivation. More feel like getting a drink and numbing both the physical and mental for a while. I was not even allowed 1 beer for 6 years while others in the household do drink, like denied other things incuding medication at times. So now maybe the temptation is from another emotion than just self medicating.

MHS started process finally made another step today - a telehealth appointment with a new psychiatrist which will be another frustrating re-start from the beginning through to the same enevitable frustrating conclustion.

Sorry, feeling rather negative today.

Recently I tried branching out in the forums but it is a bit overwhelming to get to the point of typing something somewhere rather than just clicking support. I guess I've been feeling rather inadequate - generally have these last couple of years after witnessing the last 9 years unfold. Wish I could rewind 10 years - back to a feeling confidence, inclusion, and identity despite a life of challenging health.

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

Hi there @SadUnicorn

I am sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you today. You mentioned in your previous post about doing some uplifting exercise such as riding your bike in the park has helped to improve your mood. Are you able to do this today?

I am glad to hear that you have a telehealth appointment with a new psychiatrist. Every practitioner is different so I hope that you will find the right support for you. In the mean time, besides the forums, how do you feel about talking to one of our counsellors at the SANE Help Centre about these feelings? . SANE Help Centre is open Monday-Friday 10am-10pm and the number is 1800 18 7263.

If you are feeling not safe, please call :

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

Take care,

Peonies

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

@Former-Member The electric bike I am managing about once a week. There is a physical limitation I am working on, But I am thinking of getting out for a while and walk around, maybe some frivilous shopping and see how things are after.

In response to: Re: Taken a while to get started here

Re: Taken a while to get started here

Good on you.
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